Why did Suzie fall off the swing? She had no arms. ------ Knock Knock Whose there? Not Suzie

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Why did the kid fail? He procrastinated.

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What do you call a hickey on your shoulder? Bad aim -Cooper Simpson

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A man on crutches walked across the road. Suddenly he fell and sprained his foot. He was pleased that he was carrying crutches.

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whats worse then finding a worm in your apple? getting stranded on an island with your best friend and realizing several days later that you will have to eat him to survive. hours after eating your friend a boat saves you and now have to live the rest of your life knowing you ate somebody.................... oh and the Holocaust

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Why was the man waiting at the bus stop? He was on his way to work

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What do you get when you cross something with another thing that one would normally not cross with the aforementioned noun? A better love story than Twilight.

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Why did the black surgeon get fired? The hospital was low on funds due to the economic crisis, and had to let a few employees go.

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Why did the boy yawn? Because he was tired.

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How do you get a one armed Pollack out of a tree? Hold his family at gunpoint.

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They say that laughter is the key to a long life. What's the key to a short life? Death.

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What's brown and smells like poop? A monkey.

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what happens when an unstoppable force hits an unmovable object? it goes around.

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I hate chocolate. I hate it so much. It sickens me. The only thing I hate more than chocolate is people that like chocolate. I hate them even more. Do you know what happened to the last person I met that liked chocolate? NOTHING

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A man walks into a doctors and says 'Doctor, Doctor, I have a bad stomach ache' Upon hearing this, the doctor writes the man a prescription for medication and wishes him a swift recovery.

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Question: What did Mr. Reeves say. Answer: Nothing

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Do you like your life? No. OK.

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Why was the guy with six fingers called John? His name was John.

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What do you call a black priest? HOLY SHIT!!!!

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how many horses does it take to piss on a cat 17 beccause rape isnt real in somalia

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Sure, if my waifu aproves, hell, the more the hornier. CONDOMS? ARE YOU INSANE? CONDOMS ARE FOR PUSSIES... ..:WHIIIIIICH sorta makes sense so okay, my for a moment I thought you where not gonna go trough with this... Nah just kidding, I already got you, now if you want to break free I am gonna be like "MEH!" So, uh, you shaven or not? Please dont be "trimmed", sometimes it just looks like a pussy with a mustachio, thats bullshit.

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What's invisble and smells like bananas? My mailbox.

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What caused the Berlin Wall to come down? Gravity

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Why did the black man buy watermlons? Because a new local super market just opened and they were on sale.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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