If she is old enough to bleed, she probably uses tampons.

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how do you know Newcastle are losing? its 5 past 3

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Me: You want pie? You: Yeah what flavour? Me: Pie flavour.

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getting up in the morning is the 3nd hardest thing :DDD

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How do you kill a blonde? Cut off the bloodflow to their vital organs.

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A duck walks up to a lemonade stand, and says nothing. Ducks are incapable of speech and therefore it would be physically impossible for a duck to say anything. Where the duck walks up to does not partake in the matter.

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What is the difference between a black man and a sofa? A black man is a human being with feelings, while a sofa is an inanimate object that people sit on in order to enjoy comfort and possibly watch television.

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What did the psychiatrist say to the man when he walked into his office naked and wrapped in saran wrap? The doctor prescribes him tablets to treat his bi-polar tendencies.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonders new house? Neither has he.

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Knock knock. Who's there? The pizza delivery guy. Oh hi.

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Q:Why did the man throw his clock out the window A:Because he didn't like his clock

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So, a guy sees a guy, and asks that guy if he's seen a guy who knew this guy who saw this guy who killed this guy, who knew a guy who is Barack Obama's best friend. Oh wait, Barack Obama doesn't have any friends.

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Relax, I said some pretty vile things to you when I thought you where a guy seducing me while it became ever more apparent that you where pretending to be me, thing is I often use this site to vent my frustrations and earning the "praise" in the form of red thumbs by the people. I wont say your name, but I know who you are now, the girl with the big red scared eyes, I mean how many one handed 27 year old`s do I know? I am in my early thirties, that`s all I am willing to share for now, If people come around trying to poke out my remaining eye, I am ready (my waifu, is at her mother`s place, she knows I am still a wanted target by, well some people here and there.

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Why did the Mexican drive off a cliff Because he lost control of his vehicle which resulted in an unplanned trajectory causing his car to divert from the intended course and thus veer off the road onto the cliff

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- What's the difference between a squirrel? - It can neither fly.

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elen degeneres is straight....

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What do you call two mexican's jumping the border? people with a hard life trying to get to the new world.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I hate black people, and mexicans too.

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A flea walks into a bar. Nobody notices because it is a very small insect

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Why is it that we don't eat clowns? Because in most Western countries cannibalism is illegal.

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TELL

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What does it smell like, what does it feel like, do you like it? Yes

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why did the kid raise his hand in class because he had a question

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Why did the mentally challenged man enter the bar? He's tired of being subject hate and criticism. He hates being the subject of jokes and being pointed at. He may not be able to tell you what 3x6 is, but he still has feelings. So because of all these inconsiderate people judging him, he now spends his days at the local bar, drowning his sorrows away in alcohol. I hope your happy.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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