A dog walks into a saloon and says "I'm lookin' for the man who shot my paw." The patrons are afraid of the talking dog.

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Don't you hate it when your reading a sentence and it doesn't end how you testicles.

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Why did the boy yawn? Because he was tired.

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Once upon a time there was a small poor boy in a small German village. Her was name Smalls. Later he found out that he had to go back to Virginia because of their family then she got milk and went to the play that night like he was planning, and it was probably a problem with the clutch or transmission. It was fine because Smalls was 64 years old.

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Knock Knock! Who's there? No one. No one is ever going to be there for you. Also, you're adopted.

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Why did Jimmy fall off his bike? He had no arms… Why did he have no arms? Jimmy was a potato

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What does Tupac and Elvis Presley have in common? They're dead but most of the people think they aren't.

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What do you call something that has two legs, arms and is bloody all over? My ex's new boyfriend.

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What's worse than losing a basketball game by 1 point? Dying of lukemia.

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What's worse than giong to Hell? Nothing. Hell is as bad as it gets.

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A convict escapes a prison he's been in for 15 years. He's soon tracked down by police and put back in jail where he'll serve another 2 years of jail time along with his 5 remaining years.

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If Tigger was a black panther Christopher Robin would have named him Nigger.

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Roses are red, violets are red, Tulips are red, bushes are red.... WTF MY GARDEN'S ON FIRE.

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I was at the ocean, and I saw a screaming fish. Then it died.

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Together we can get theist likes on anti-jokes :)

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A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go. "Hey!" shouts the manager. "Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I am a PANDA! Look it up!" The manager's heart skipped a beat, and he locked himself inside his office, trembling with fear and confusion. Yes, it was plausible that a beast such as this could point to a random entry on the menu, and it was physically possible for it to pull the trigger of the gun (and, at such close proximity to the waiter, it would be pretty hard to miss him), but it was shocking and altogether disturbing to hear such an animal speak in human language, much less vernacular English.

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whats worse then finding a worm in your apple? getting stranded on an island with your best friend and realizing several days later that you will have to eat him to survive. hours after eating your friend a boat saves you and now have to live the rest of your life knowing you ate somebody.................... oh and the Holocaust

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Your mom walked into a bar and got kicked out cause there's no dogs allowed.

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Why did the baby die? Because he was shot in the hea repeatedly

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Why couldn't the eleven year old get into the pirate movie? Because it was rated PG-14 and he was unaccompanied by a mature adult.

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Knock, Knock? Who's there? Its Gilly.

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How do u get a clown off of a swing? You hit him with an axe.

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Chinese food tastes so oriental sometimes, sort of like asian food

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When we was Antarctica and it was cold we would huddles arounds a candles. What did we do when it was colder? We lit the candle,

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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