What happens when you cross a dog and a cat? Something.

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Sally has no arms. A: Knock kock? B: Whose there? Not Sally.

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What's silent but deadly? Limnic Eruption.

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How do you say vampire in spanish? Vampiro.

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Xzibit

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Whats red and smells like Bacon. Bacon

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fduck

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How does Batman's mom call him home for supper? Nothing. Batman's mom is dead.

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Steve, what do I write on a 3946 if more than two vehicles were involved?

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What is worse than going to school without your homework? Going to school naked without your homework.

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Did you hear the one about Helen Keller? No. Well neither did she.

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What did the apple say to the pear? Fred, you are going insane and i'm getting a divorce.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't. The chicken was run over by a truck before he could get to the other side

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Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

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How did the old man feel when he couldn't have sex? Viagravated

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How do u make a fat person cry......... tell em mc donnalds is closed (^_^)

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What did the little boy want to be when he grew up? Dead.

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what did the blind man see? Nothing he felt the penis in his butt.

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Why are plants green? Plants are green due to the chloroplast organelles found in their cells. These membrane bound organelles are exclusive to plant cells and are used to convert sun light to usable chemical energy. This energy is stored in the form of ATP molecules, or adenosine triphosphate. When one of the three phosphate groups of an ATP molecule is removed, the molecule releases the energy put into this bond and becomes ADP, or adenosine diphosphate. Throughout this process, the organelle fulfills its sole function and at the same time gives plants their green color our eyes perceive today.

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Knock Knock Who's there Me Me who ME LET ME IN

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because blind people aren't allowed to drive in the United States.

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what happened when a duck flew over the hunter during duck hunting season? the hunter shot at the bird, but fortunately, the hunter was nit very good so the duck flew back to his wife and children by the pond.

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Why did the black man begin to cry when his friend aimed a gun at a watermelon? Because if he were to shoot it would be a waste of perfectly good food.

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Two pretzels were walking down an alley way, one was assaulted. In a instinctive move, the other quickly ran away and alerted the authorities. The assaulted pretzel was severely injured but slowly recovered covered from physical trauma and has now sought professional help to deal with it's great deal of post traumatic stress.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops