A squirrel and an owl are sitting in a tree. The squirrel turns to the owl and says nothing, because it is a squirrel and squirrels can't talk. The owl turns to the squirrel and eats it, because it is a bird of prey.

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If your uncle jack helped you off your horse, would you help your uncle jack off a horse? Yes

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Why did lisa fall of her bike? Because her dad threw a refrigerator at her. -JCB

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Q: What do you call a Muslim controlling a plane? A: A pilot.

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what does a gay horse eat heeyyyyy

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What did the hungry man do? He ate.

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I never knew I was dyslexic. Then one day I showed up to a toga party dressed as a goat.

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A black man, a mexican, and a muslim all jump off a building. Who hit the ground first? Who cares!

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what do Jewish people and pizzas have in common? they enjoy parties

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What do you call it when you kill a Jewish homosexual? Murder.

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Why did the corpse come to life? Because number 5 is alive!

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An Asian, white, and a black man decide to play Russian Roulette. The Asian goes first and shoots himself in the head. The white man picks up the gun for his turn. The black man runs down the street screaming. Cops see him and the white man holding the gun, both are sent to jail for life for the murder of their friend.

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Come on, I am trying to cheer you up a bit, honestly how high?

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? He wasn't: 9 was a dick.

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Why was the blonde fired from her job as a nurse? Because she ate all the babies in the nursery (She didn't even leave one for the director of the hospital to eat!)

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A man walked into a lampost. He hurt himself.

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How do you teach a black guy to swim? You sign him up for swimming lessons.

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Why didn't the giraffe go to the zoo party? He didn't receive an invitation.

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I now pronounce you man and lion. You may now kiss the pride.

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knock knock whos there? knock knock whos there knock knock you final decide to open the door to find a deaf man needing directions.

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What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot, you racist.

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Q: what's the difference between a human and a gorilla? A: they can both talk, apart from the gorilla

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because its dopaminergic neurons fired synchronously across the synapses of its caudate nucleus, triggering motor contractions propelling the organism forward, while emitting 'cluck' distress signals, to a goal predetermined by its hippocampal road mappings.

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Why is six afraid of seven? Seven is a rapist.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops