Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? There aren't pineapples in the ocean.

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Why did the white girl fuck the mexican? Because her teacher told her to do an "essay"

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Chuck Norris can count from 1 to 100... twice!

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what is the difference between a black man and a bucket of shit? The bucket.

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Wanna hear an anti-joke?

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President Donald Trump

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Aaaaakkkkkiiiiiinnnnfffffeeeeennnnnwwwwaaaa

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A man walks into a bar stark naked with a duck on his head. The bartender said "Dave, what's wrong?" The duck replies "Don't ask."

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Debating on internet is like competing in the paralympics, even if you win you're still retarded

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Marmite.

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Knock, knock ... ... No one answers the door because knocks produce a quieter sound than a doorbell and the residents of the house are upstairs watching a movie.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor?

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What kind of condoms do cows use? None.

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All the other dinosaurs were laughing and teasing the tyrannosaurus because of his tiny arms. They left and the T.rex was sobbing uncontrollably next to a giant fern. "What's the matter little fellow?" said Jesus. The crying dinosaur looked down and said "I That's the end of my stupid puppet show, cuz I couldn't think of anything a blubbering dinosaur would say to our Lord and saviour.

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A man walks into a bar and notices a twelve inch tall man playing a small piano. He asks the bartender about it. The bartender explains that the pianist has worked there for some time, mostly performing on weeknights. The bartender also tells the man that he may be suffering some vision problems, as the pianist is about 5'8" or 5'9". Some time later the man visits an optometrist and finds out he has a severe case of astigmatism. "Knock Knock." "Who's there?" "Banana." "Banana who?" "Knock Knock." "Who's there?" "Banana." "I already asked ''Banana who?'' Is that your real name? Who is this really?" "Knock Knock." "You are upsetting me. I am calling the police now. Please get off my property."

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Knock knock Who's there? A penguin A penguin who? Just kidding, a penguin could never survive in this climate, I'm mark and was wondering if I could give you an estimate on some new siding

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What's black, white, and red all over? The color scheme. Except for the black and white. They're shades.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it wanted to.

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What do you call a nun in a wheelchair? Virgin mobile XD

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What do you get when you mix a dog with a pool table? I don't know.

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fallow me on twitter #ieatveloceraptorsfordinner

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When is the best time to eat? When you feel like it.

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A: my name is Joe and i like onion B: ok

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A kid wanted to change the channel... One thing leads to another.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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