knock knock hold on im takin a poop!

5 little monkeys jumping on the bed, one fell off and bumped his head. Momma called the doctor and the doctor said, "He has a mild concussion."

have you heard of the new german microwave? it seats about 30

So, there's a lion loose in Colchester. Should've gone to Specsavers... [L]

What is the difference between a cow and a human? A lot of things.

Guy at computer: My computer won't turn on. Help desk Guy: Did you try restarting. Guy at computer: No. The help desk guy hangs up and the guy at the computer proceeds to cry because he has failed.

Why did the jewish man pick up a nickel on the street? Because he understands the value of saving money.

Why did the Chinese man have a cat in his oven? Because his wife had decided to divorce him that day so he threw he in the oven, and the cat happened to be in her arms at the time.

Q: Why did Little Suzie fall off of the swing? A: She had no arms. Knock knock! Who's there? Not Little Suzie!

EAT YOUR DINNER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? No Neither has he

Why did the boy get stuck on the toilet? He was Elvis.

Roses are red, Violets are blue. Some poems rhyme, but this one doesn't.

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the gun store to buy a gun. After years of abuse and mockery, he was tired of being called "chicken", and was going to shoot up the entire school

Why did the wee boy drop his ice cream? He got hit by a truck.

A man walks into a car. And drive's off.

What did the black man say to the mexican? Hello

How do you drown a blond? Glue a mirror to the bottom of a pool!

Tell me you're a rapist. You're a rapist. This joke makes no sense. Mashed potatoes.

Roses are red violets are blue we're stuck together like superglue roses go brown violets go darker cut the crap and the stupid laughter...I just went through a breakup

What is the anwer to life? (>^v^ )> KIRBY DANCE

whats the difference between a bird and a turtle? they can both fly but the turtle cant

Your momma's so fat that she is at risk for heart disease and diabetes.

Why couldn't 7 multiply itself by 18? Because there were two people having sex in between them.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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