Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it wanted to.

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What doesnt have arms and legs? A brick.

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What worse than the holocaust? Danny's.

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What did the guy who walked into a bar say? Ouch

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why was the pen lonely? because it didn't have a pen pall

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the car? Get in the car

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Roses Are Red, Violets Are Blue, I Love Chocolate, More Than I Love You

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So there are 5 people on a plane the president, a movie star, and man who is on the verge of making world peace, the smartest man in the world, and the pope the piolt has a heart atack at and the plane will crash soon there are only 4 parachutes. So the first is Obama and he saysI won a Nobel piece prize and I run American see ya later and he takes the parachute next Steven hawking says sory pope Im taking this because I don't believe in God and black holes are cool so he takes the parachute and jumps out. Next Charlie Sheen says I need to entertain people and keep the drug dealers in business so he. Takes the parachute and jumps out. Then Francis turns to the hippie and says if you achive world peace it may help eliminate some poverty so you take the last paratute and jump out then the hippie says in return no its OK Steven Hawking took my back back. When they land they decide to serch for Steven's body and they find nothing. You see Steven Hawking had taken his own paratute with him and took the Hippies backpack to sell it and make some money

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What do you get when you cross an orangatang with a grizzly bear? Nothing, they just walk past each other unless the bear eats the shit out of the monkey then feeds it to her cubs

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Anti-joke.

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Knock Knock! Who's there? John Simons. This joke lacks a punchline. Yes, yes it does.

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A large man goes into a restaurant and places his order The waiter asks if he would like the weight watchers menu He says no because he doesnt care about his weight

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Roses are red violets are blue most poems rhyme but this one doesnt.,

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Why couldn't Jenny speak right? Cause she had autism.

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What's brown and sticky? ...A stick.

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What does a bartender say to almost all of his customers? May I please see your I.D.

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why am i on this site? cause its funny

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What's brown and sticky? Fecal matter.

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How do you stop a baby from falling into a manhole? You catch it, and then call the appropriate services and inform them of the dangerous open manhole.

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Where did the little boy go after the explosion? Everywhere.

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You know what they say about men with big feet? Big penis.

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What did the skeleton say when he was horny? Nothing. Skeletons are not living and therefore cannot be horny.

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Why did samantha die? Because she had cancer.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I'm random but can still rhyme Hatsune Miku

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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