Grandma got ran over by a reindeer. She died

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How are baseball and basketball the same. They aren't football.

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What makes a good jack-o-lantern? A pumpkin

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Whats bloody and wrinkly? Your nans fanny

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I think I lost my number so can I... No you can't because phone numbers can't be lost

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My friend harris is fat.

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Why did the man go to sleep at 9:30? Because his mom told him to

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Roses are Blue Violets are Red I have Alsheimers... Cheese on Toast

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What should you do if you come across a slut with a fork up her @ss and a gun in her hand? Do not look at her and walk away.

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What is the most dangerous day of the week to leave the house? Garbage day. Moral: Or rather GAAAAAAAAAARBAAAAAGE DAAAAAAAAAAAAY! *BANG BANG BANG* >:D

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YO MAMA SO SHORT she should really consider wearing long tunic-like blouses, prints that contain vertical stripes, and heeled shoes with a pointed toe in order to create the illusion of length to her silhouette. That having been said, society's limited definition of beauty is quite inadequate for the diverse and progressive world in which we live.

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There was once a man who went to the store and walked across a bridge and bought toothpaste and yelled at a hobo and went home and took a nap and then he went back to the park where he talked to an english teacher who told him not to use run-on sentences or she would slap him with a fish.

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What do you call a guy with no arms and legs sitting on your street corner? Suicidal.

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Q: What do you call a man with no arms and no legs hanging on a wall? A: Art.

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Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? No-one because that's not feasible.

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Q: Why was 6 afraid of 7? A: Because 7 was convicted of a murder, but was released due to lack of evidence, and 6 is very concerned for the protection of himself and his growing family.

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What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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captcha: all yer base

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Why did a mass amount of people move to Florida? They came to murder their children and get away with it.

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Why can't John hear what Muhammad says? John is deaf.

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:y do people talk? ;idk :oh then nevermind

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69...you know how awkward this is now...

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What has the head of a lion, the body of a mule, and the penis of a seal? Nothing... what the hell did you think it was? Are you on drugs or something?

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What's the difference between you and a mallet with a cold? Ones a sick duck...I forget what I was about to say but your mother is a whore

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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