69...you know how awkward this is now...

A woman buys a man a Valentine's Day present.

I bet I can say the the whole Greek alphabet faster than any other person in the world. The whole Greek alphabet faster than any other person in the world.

Whats the best way to get to a girls heart? A knife.

Your momma's so fat in her history class they wrote down what they were doing

Why did the downy jump off a cliff? I told him to.

What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm in it? Biting into a worm and finding an apple in it.

What's sad about 4 black people in a cadilac driving over a cliff? They stole my car :(

You idiot.

Dr Dr I think I have diarrhea You have irritable bowel syndrome, I recommend IBS support

you are black i am black except for your big hairy ass

In Soviet Russia, the political system was very different than it is today.

Why does Michael J. Fox make the best milkshakes? He uses only the finest ingredients.

Why does one not simply walk into Mordor? Mordor doesn't really exist and thus is physically impossible to walk into, or enter by any means really.

Did you hear about the homeless man? He asked me if I had any spare change. I didn't. I found the encounter to be very depressing.

A priest, a rabbi, and a muslim cleric walk into a bar. In Syria. Dead children.

What did one wall say to the other? Nothing. Walls can't talk.

Whats Something everyone has except david? Money.

What do you do when life gives you lemons? Make some fucking lemonade.

Q: What happened when Johnny cheated on his test? A: He got a higher score

John - hey do you have tickets to see Oasis? Sam - No I bought green day tickets intead John then proceeds to violently masturbate. Sam at first feels uncomfortable, then shits all over John and joins in.

Thomas the Tank Engine could see Express up ahead on the tracks! His driver shut off steam and applied his brakes. Ahead of him Gordon groaned "Ohhhhh stop your train! Stop your train! His driver and fireman jumped out quickly. Thomas tried his very hardest and eventually found himself slowing down. But there wasn't enough time and Thomas smashed right into the express. Seven people were killed and Thomas himself was smashed to pieces.

Knock, knock ... ... No one answers the door because knocks produce a quieter sound than a doorbell and the residents of the house are upstairs watching a movie.

What happened when a boy used the wrong punctuation and grammar, plus forgot how to spell the word know? i dont ;now!!!!!!!!!

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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