Why do penguins wash their clothes in tide? They don't. As artic-dwelling birds, they don't have access TV or magazines and as such, are impervious to influences via commercials and written advertisements. Also, obvious tuxedo jokes aside, they don't really wear clothes.

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

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So two cannibals are eating a clown. Cannibal one: Does this taste funny to you? Cannibal two: Considering that this man was a clown he must have been in poverty so he resulted to being an alcoholic and maybe over dosed on over the counter drugs. Cannibal one: Thank you for that reasonable answer.

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So a bunch of blondes are in a group and a murder comes by and sais, "if you want to live, answer a question right." so the blondes pick there smartest on. the first question is, what is 9+4... the blonde answers five, the crowd goes "give her another chance giver her another chance, same thing happens, she gets it wrong and the crowd goes "give her another chance, give her another chance." the murderer sais "ok fine this is your final guess, what is 2+2" the blonde goes "uuhhhhhh... 4?" And the whole crowd goes "give her another chance give her another chance

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Some blind tall guy asked a rich dude about time when the rich dude looked at his klock he remembred many things in his ugly terrible life so he said to the blind guy : its 5PM

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Why couldn't the blonde bride make it to her own wedding? She had another unplanned circumstance occur and the wedding was postponed until next week.

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Why was the little boy upset? An arson set fire to his house, leaving him nowhere to live.

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Why was the boy dad? Because he was taken advantage of by an older woman during ovulation and impregnated her.

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What does a black person call black friday? Friday

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream? He threw it, because he had parkinson's!

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whats worse than finding the holocaust on your forehead? a mono brow

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when does lady gaga wake up? when she dreams about a bad romance

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Why did the man follow the law? He didn't want to get arrested

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I love you You love me We all grab 2X4's Barney's on the floor No more purple dinosaur.

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drake

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doctor doctor i have been having a sore head recently . doctor : have you hurt your head yes

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Q: How many Babies does it take to paint a garage? A: babies do not have good motor skills therefore, they can not hold a paint brush.

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What's the difference between a jazz musician and a cheese pizza? A cheese pizza is a food and a jazz musician is a person.

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....ZZzzzzz.....ZZzzzzz.....

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why do woman travel in packs? because men don't travel like the sisterhood in the traveling pants

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Chickens want to live in a world where they arent judged for cossing a road ......... K?

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every 60 seconds in africa a minute passes

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How do 5 gay teenagers walk? In 'One Direction"

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what does gum eat ? gum you idiot!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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