How do you make Mandy Ann shut up? Clown Car

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Bear walks into bar and says to eagle may I have a................... drink eagle says why the long pause hohahahohahahohaha

thumb_up thumb_down +28

What's Chris Benoit up to? Just hangin' with his family

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Yo momma so fat when god said let there be light he said get the fuck out the way!

thumb_up thumb_down +26

You know why Michael J Fox can dance like it's 1999? because he's a really good dancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

What do you tell someone who says they are contemplating suicide? where to find some cheap cyanide

thumb_up thumb_down +26

A Muslim terrorist walks onto a bus, with the mindset to blow him and the other 27 people. Before he steps onto the bus, he realizes the error in his ways and decides to not follow through. He goes to the airport instead.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Billy was curious if gasoline burns, so he decided to...... .... O crap I'm late for Billy's funeral.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

whats worst than school? the earth exploding whats worse than the earth exploding? the sun exploding whats worse than the sun exploding? 10,000 suns exploding

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Poop swing

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Honestly though bud, are you wasted? XD

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Boss: Do you know what lazy means? Employer: Yes, adopting a child.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

whats Mario's favorite kind of jeans? Denim, denim, denim.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

What do you call a dolphin that drives a Mercedes Benz? Nothing. Dolphins can't drive.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

There is a new film coming out, it is a re-make of "Fatal Attraction" The only difference is, it is about two tonnes of antimatter... [L]

thumb_up thumb_down +24

What's one thing good about cancer? (make them guess) Nothing you fricking prick!

thumb_up thumb_down +24

A boy wakes up in the morning and says i"'m feeling kind of fishy today," the boy's dad walks in and relpies "that's because you are a fish."

thumb_up thumb_down +24

What did the lonely old man get on valentines day? Nothing, because his wife died of cancer two years ago.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

why did the chicken cross the road? Why not?

thumb_up thumb_down +24

whats funnier than a joke? A: a funnier joke

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Whats the difference between a Corvette and a dead bag of babies. -there's not a Corvette in my garage

thumb_up thumb_down +22

what do you call the man making meth in his basement? the police to stop inappropriate behavior from reaching the children of society.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

A white man and a black man were walking down the street. The black borrowed the white man's phone to make a quick call when an incoming call came in. The black man, while trying to hand the phone back, says, "Here, it's your Dad." The white man replies, "No, that's my phone." Amazed at how uneducated the black man was.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Why are all Asians smart? Not all of them are, Asians are stereotypically smart because their parents most likely grew up in an under-developed country and want their children to be successful because they don't want their children to experience what they did.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops