I was trying to think of a joke to write, but then I became unsatisfied with my creativity and began to spiral into a depressing tangent of thoughts. I just took 37 Ambien, and have approximately ten minutes to live. Instead, I will spend my last moments writing goodbye messages to friends on Facebook and longingly looking at images of the past. Goodbye, world.

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What do you call a fish with no fins? Dead.

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New groundbreaking research has just revealed today that a complex sentence can be used to manipulate the human mind, so in this sentence somewhere is a psychological amemphism that subconsciously hypnotises the mind into doing something within the next five seconds, and if you read this sentence over and over again, you might just spot it!

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Why did the polar bear cross the road? He didn't, there are no roads in Antarctica.

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How do you blind a Chinese man You put a blind fold on him

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What's poor and lives in Newry city council dump? Smelly mcD

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why did the girl fall down someone threw four monkeys and a refrigerator at her

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What did the horse say to the other horse? Neigh

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven was a cannibal.

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Q: What is Fftp poort grtz gruxxyw? A: DYSLEXIA!

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What do you call a kid on crutches? Crippled

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friends are like onions when you chop them up you cry but when you throw them out of a window, you dont

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Roses are red Violets are blue I'm bipolar NO I'M NOT!!

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ur dug has tits <3 from Alec Bamford xxxxxxxx<3<3<3xxxxxx QAHS 4life

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What's worse than eating brussel sprouts? Getting raped by a brussel sprout.

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Ju... Just why?

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What's the difference between an orange? A bycicle you fool, a vest doens't have sleeves

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Why did the pineapple cry? It didn't, because it's a pineapple.

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A black man and a Mexican are in a car. Who's driving? The cop. The two men were best friends who had taken off from their law firm. Alex had recently gone through a divorce and John decided to take him on a trip backpacking across Europe. One rainy night an off-duty police officer picked them up and took them out for drinks. The friends had a wonderful trip. But Alex never got over Jenny leaving him. 3 months later John found him dead in his home by auto-erotic asphyxiation.

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What happens when you step on Jupiter? You cannot.

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What are vampires favorite drink? Vampires aren't real.

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What's the difference between a jew and a pizza? A jew is a person contending to the faith of Judaism, and a pizza is an Italian flat normally round or square baked good consisting of dough, tomato sauce, cheese and various spices, and is sometimes enjoyed with toppings such as meat or vegetables

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why did the girl cross the road? to commit suicide

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? 7 is a registered sex offender.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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