While I was having sex... Just kidding, I can't get laid.

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Why did Peter go to the dentist? Because he had to go to the dentist!

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whats long and hard and full of seamen a penis

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Why was the boy rolling down the hill? Cause he's stupid

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What's worse than stepping on a snail? Stepping on a bear trap.

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Why was the man alone? Because he was tied to a tree.

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The blondes on the opposite part of the lake is a pretty good joke

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Why did Bob Marley Shoot the Sheriff? Because he was black.

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What is red white and blue Blood. I was lying about the white and blue.

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So I was sitting in the doctor's when I noticed a guy sitting about two seats down, wearing a sombrero and pouring salt over himself. Then I found out I had cancer and promptly lost all interest in him.

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There are two muffins in an oven. The first muffin says, "Is it just me, or is it getting hot in here?". The second one says, "Hey, look! A talkin' muffin!".

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So a jelly bean walks into a bar. The bartender asks him "whatchuu doin here jelly bean" the jelly bean doesn't respond and sits there awkwardly because he neither speaks English nor has the brain capacity to move or breathe. The bartender closes the store and comes back the next day to find the bean in the same awkward position.

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Q. What do you call 2 black men on a bike? A. Organised Crime

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Adam Claypool walks into a bar. He immediately sucks the bartender's dick because he is the biggest queer anyone has ever seen

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Yo mama so fat... Her doctor told her she's morbidly obese and she has 2 years to live if she doesn't change her eating habits and exercise regularily.

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Why is Santa's sack so big? He has a malignant tumour on his testicle. We're all very worried about him.

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Three men of different race and religion are on a plane; they enjoy their flight, and two of them have a good meal with no pork. Thirty years later, two of the men share the same flight, but failed to even recognize each other on the first.

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- Mom, you've got a banana in your ear. - Son I can't hear you I've got a banana in my ear!

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a man got hit by a truck in brooklyn, JK he got shot, he was in brooklyn, Duh, he stumbled out in to traffic afterwards

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Why did the helicopter crash? Because the driver was fat.

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I Won a Math Debate................ say it fast unless your blind then dont say it wait you cant read it so uhhm Alaska

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John Stamos.

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Did you hear about the homeless man? He asked me if I had any spare change. I didn't. I found the encounter to be very depressing.

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why was the girl screaming? She was getting raped from behind by her dad.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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