What do you call a snail driving a boat? An accident waiting to happen.

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kiss me?

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The Pope

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The early bird gets the worm, but the angry bird gets the pig.

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Roses are violets red is blue i like lizards they have fur

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why did the chicken cross the road? It was running from the black man

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Why did the penguin die? He was anti-social and would rather die than huddle. So he died. THE END

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why did the chicken cross the road? Because the farmer left the gate open and chickens typically wonder with no obvious pattern to their movements.

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ass in my face ? no

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YOUIR MAMA IS SO UGLY THAT SHE MIGHT WANT TO LOOK INTO PLASTIC SURGERY TO BETTER HER APPEARENCE

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Ebola

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What are vampires favorite drink? Vampires aren't real.

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Whats brown and sticky? Brown glue

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A man knocks on a wooden door. A woman says who is it?

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A child is in the grocery checkout with their parents. It sees the candy display and asks for a pack of Reese's. When the parents do not grant the child's request, they begin to scream and cry. When they arrive home, the child is beaten with a copper rod. The new puppy that the child got for a birthday present is hanged and fed to buzzards.

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Why did Frank go to the doctor? He had a bad case of the ebeyjeebes.

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why can't helen keller drive? Because she is deaf and blind.

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whats red and looks like a bucket? a red bucket whats blue and looks like a bucket? a red bucket in disguise

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? Because she was a woman.

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What happened when john pelted susie with a rock? she had a temporary concusion, needed eight stitches and John was grounded

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Whats worse than forgetting some thing at the supermarket? your nuts being nail gunned to the wall.

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What is the square-root of pi? ?pi

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A blonde and a brunette both starred in a TV show.. It was called Beavis and Butthead.

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what did tyrone want for Christmas? A dad.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops