If John has 50 candy bars and eats 45, how many does he have? Diabetes. John has diabetes.

a mushroom walks in to a little boys party the boy says why are u here mushroom says because im a fun-guy (fungis,fungi)

There's a redhead, a brunette and a woman with green hair walking down the street. A man asks them how they all came to have such beautiful and vibrant hair color. The redhead smiles, runs a hand through her hair and replies "It's natural!" The brunette smiles, runs a hand through her hair and replies "It's natural!" The woman with green hair blows her nose, and replies "It isn't natural, I'm rebelling against society's conformist ideals. Also I was not loved enough as a child." She has a cold.

"I love you terribly!" said the girl to her new boyfriend. "That's kind of ambiguous..."

What is the difference between a rock and a pencil? Your Mom.

Whay was 6 afraid of 7? 7 had an extra penis

What's the difference between a plum and a bunny? They're both purple. Except the bunny.

A 14 year old walks into a bar. The bartender yells "Hey, no minors allowed here!" A 14 year old walks out of a bar.

Why did jack smell smoke in his neighborhood? His house burnt to the ground.

It's Adam and Eve, not Steve and Eve!

Little Jimmy has 100 candy bars, and he eats 95 of them. What dies little Jimmy have? Diabetes

Why'd humpty dumpy fall of the wall? Someone threw a fridge at him

Whats the difference between babies and basketballs? You cant unload a truck of basketballs with a pitchfork.

what do you call a middle eastern man on a plane? a passenger.

A. Hey.. B. Hi

Q: Whats worse that 10 dead babies in a trash can? A: 1 dead baby in 10 trash cans.

If a man shouts in a forest and there is no woman around to hear him, is he still wrong? He could be, he could not be. It really depends on what he says. The greater concern is that he's shouting alone in the forest. Either he's in trouble or he has a major psychology disorder.

how do u know when your in west virginia? when the houses have more wheels than the cars

Ask me if I'm an orange. Are you an orange? No.

Not sure, its just a really rare combination, people tell me stuff like "oh they are really bright brown" like hell they are, I mean sorry but the hell they are. I prefer it the way you say it, they are red, really really red, and you do not say it as if I had something to be ashamed off.

An Ethiopian field worker goes into work one day and finds out he was fired. Agriculture in Ethiopia is bad because it doesn't rain much.

Why did the blond do so horribly on the SAT's? She was pulled outside halfway through her testing session by the school janitor who molested and murdered her in the bathroom.

what are you called if your really funny but you not smart? the class clown

What is the difference between a mom and a dad? One is a mom and the other is a dad. Why couldn't Fred see the board? He had a frog stapled to his face.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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