Roses are red Violets are red Tulips are red Bushes are red Trees are red HOLY SHIT MY GARDEN's ON FIRE!!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What do you do when a blond throws a grenade at you....you pull the pin and trow it back

thumb_up thumb_down +21

How do you kill half the population of Mexico? A preemptive nuclear strike.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What happend to the gay kid that walked into iran. He got shot and killed ????

thumb_up thumb_down +21

ARE YOU OKAY? Well thanks for asking actually I could be doing a bit better bu... BUSTER WOLF! Moral: No Im adding moral here, I mean why ask people if they are feeling okay before you break then in half?

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What's bigger then a bowling ball? What? Your mom!

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What smells like peanut butter but looks like a penis? A penis, I lied about the peanut butter.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What did the baby get for its 1st birthday? Nothing it was aborted.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Why did a duck cross the street? It didn't. It was hit by a car.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

A gorilla walks into a bar and orders a beer. The bartender stands speechless due to the ridiculousness of the situation -Tag

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Roses are red violets are blue sugar is sweet and so are you, but the rose are wilted the violets are dead the sugar is lumpy and so is your head.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

wnba

thumb_up thumb_down +21

a man walks into a bar and says "help me, my daughter just got hit by a car! the bartender phones the ambulance and the girl survives.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

a man is having trouble getting onto the internet on his home computer. so he he calls a computer technician to help him. \

thumb_up thumb_down +21

womens rights

thumb_up thumb_down +21

I don't always drink beer, but when I do, I beat my family.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Why should people with Alzheimer's not tell jokes? .......................................................................................................................................... SEVEN EIGHT NINE!!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What did Dela Ware? Nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Anti-joke.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

A: Knock knock B: Who's there? A: Hello, I'm a Jehovah's Witness and I would like to talk to you about religion for a few minutes. B: Thank you, but I'm not interested. A: OK, thank you for your time, sir. B: You're quite welcome. Good day. A: Have a nice afternoon. B: You too. Bye A: Ba-bye.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

A Tatooine moisture farmer, an old man, an astromech droid, and a potocol droid walk into a cantina at Mos Eisley Space Port. The bartender says, "Hey, we don't serve their kind here! Your droids will have to wait outside." The moisture farmer then says to his droids, "Why don't you wait out by the speeder, we don't want any trouble." The protocol droid replies, "I heartily agree, sir."

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Why did the bus crash? Because the driver was a watermelon.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

An Octopus walks into a bar and sees that there are multiple people with instruments. The man with the Guitar says "I bet you cant play the Guitar better than Led Zeplin?" So the Octopus plays and he is better than Led Zeplin. Then the man with the Piano says "I bet you can't play the piano better than Elton John?" So the Octopus Plays it better than Elton John. The Last man from Scotland says " i bet you can't plat the bagpipes better than me?" So... The Octopus is playing around with the Bagpipes and they say to him "Hurry Up!" and the Octopus says "Shut up, I'm trying to have sex with it but first I need to get it's pajamas off" (Bagpipes have 8 long things you blow into and they have a pattern that looks like a pajama pattern) hahaha

thumb_up thumb_down +19

knock knock who's there? boo don't do this joke again- i'll make you cry if you finish it don't cry it is just a knock knock joke teeheehee

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops