A Horse walks into a Bar The Bartender runs for his life as he is tripping on acid and believes the horse is a sheep. He doesn't like sheep.

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This is my rifle, this is my gun, one is for shooting, the other is decorative.

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Roses are bright, Violets are sad, I like sprite I'm really struggling for ideas at this point

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There was a man who bought a cat. He fed it well. It got so fat.

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what did the deaf kid get for christmas ? An ipod.

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Why did the boy fall off his bike? Because he fell off his bike.

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A man walks into a bar. Ouch.

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Man I'm Bored Nice to meet you.

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Why didn't the depressed girl go on facebook? She was dead

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Why did Adele suck the doctors dick? LOL, did you think the doctor really got her to open her mouth all the time so he could "look at her sick throat"

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How do you make a clown cry? You kill his family and chop off his legs.

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Did you see the blind man get hit by a car? Neither did he.

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There was an old man from Limerick. He was of scottish ancestry and nearing his 76th birthday.

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How do you make a kids fall off a swing? Throw an axe at them

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What is red and invisible? No tomatoes.

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Why didn't Sally eat the meatballs The meatballs ate her

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Nevermind.

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"Knock Knock" "Who's there?" "Jeff" "Jeff who?" "Jeff Johnson" "From the office?" "No I work at the dehli" "The one on 6th avenue?" "No, the one on Park." "What do you want?" "Could you open the door?" "No, I don't know you" "Isn't this Mr. Walter's house?" "No, my name is Roger Stevens" "I'm sorry I must be at the wrong house" "What address are you looking for?" "15322 N Gary street" "This is 15323 N Gary" "Oh I'm sorry" "Try knocking across the street" "Thank you"

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How do you make a plumber cry? Make his family cry!!!!!!!!!

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How do you make a chicken fly? Throw it

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Dr. Dick Howard Long visits a friend in England. Arriving at his friend's house, he knocked at the door. A butler then lets him in and asks, "Sir, would you like to wait while the Master bathes?" The doctor then replies, "Sure thing, I'll wait until he's done."

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Teacher- "Sally Sue, a sentence that starts with I, please."\ Sally Sue- "I is..." Teacher- "no, no, Sally Sue, when you start with I, you must follow it with am." Sally Sue- "I am the 9th letter of the alphebet."

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Whats worse than scraping your elbow and knee? Beheading and disembowlment.

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Two guys walk into a bar. You think the second one would've noticed and avoided it.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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