Roses are red Violets are blue I rhyme like lil Wayne Fridge

thumb_up thumb_down +34

How can you tell that a blonde has been using a computer? You can't. There's no common link between computing habits and hair color.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Billy isn't a homosexual, he just has sex with men. Billy has sex with men, because Billy's in prison.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Trashcan!

thumb_up thumb_down +32

When life gives you lemons, make a lemon and tamarind chutney.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Yo mama's so fat that when she was diagnosed with a flesh eating disease she was given 10 years to live.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

what do you call a Ukranian woman without a visa? my maid

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Homosexual babies? It's a choice

thumb_up thumb_down +30

A man is on an operating table. His heart stops beating and he suddenly finds himself at the Gates of Heaven. St. Peter approaches him. "Welcome, my son," St. Peter says. "I can't believe it," the man exclaims, "I've died and gone to Heaven! I-" St. Peter interrupts him. "Not quite yet, my son. You must first answer three questions. You will only enter Heaven if I deem you fit to do so." The man nervously agrees. "All right. First question," St. Peter says. "Did you ever commit a sin and never sought forgiveness?" The man thinks long and hard. "No, I always made sure to apologize." "Splendid," St. Peter responds. "Did you attend church every Sunday?" The man loses some of his former confidence. "I may have missed the odd week." "That's fine," says St. Peter. "One last question... Do you believe you are worthy of entering the Gates of Heaven?" The man answers nervously, "Well... yes, yes I do." St. Peter smiles. "Congratulations, my son. You have passed the test, and may enter Heaven!" The man is ecstatic as the pearly gates open up for him. He enters Heaven and is astounded by its magnificent beauty. The man then loses all brain function and dies on the operating table.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

What do you call a box with a dead Jew in? A coffin.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Why do cows have tails? Because my pet rock stopped breathing.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

What's the difference between a duck, an engineer, and a leaf? There are many differences between these 3 that I will not list them all.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

whats worse than your brother dying in a car accident? finding out the rest of your family was in there

thumb_up thumb_down +28

How many Jews can you fit into a car? About 5 or 6. It depends on the size of the car.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Roses are red Violets are blue Little billy was annoying me But he can't anymore Because now he's dead In a burlap sack In the back of my truck And it's really bloody back there

thumb_up thumb_down +28

What do you call a deaf person whom is behind the wheel of a car about to run off a cliff? ....

thumb_up thumb_down +26

I can Nazi

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Why aren't jokes funny in base 8? Because 7, 10, 11.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

One night you tell your mom to make you a sandwich, the next day in school you ate a delicious peanut butter and jelly sandwich for lunch

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Jack and Jill climbed up the hill .... and fetched a pail of water.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

nock nock who's there i eat mop i eat mop ho i didn't know you eat your poo. the wedding is off and go **** yourself in a hole!!

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Why did the chandelier fall on the little boy? Hell if I know, the only person who saw it got hit by a chandelier and died.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

why did Max cry??? chicken

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Why did the man drink water? Because he was thirsty

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops