Person 1: Knock knock. Person 2: Come in.

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What's brown and sticky? A stick

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A Russian gentleman walks into a bar and requests a vodka which the bartender promptly supplies. Shortly thereafter a Turkish gentleman enters escorting a Llama on a leash and requests a vodka to which the bartender responds: "Your animal is not allowed on the premise, I am going to have to ask you to leave." The Turkish gentleman apologizes for his ignorance of the local customs and excuses himself, and shortly thereafter the Russian finishes his Vodka, pays, and leaves as well.

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What do you call a bad joke? Unfunny.

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Jerry Rice is walking down the streets of San Francisco when all of a sudden he hears sirens coming from the next street down. He hurries down the road to see what's happening and sees a huge fire engulfing a 10 story building. And on the top floor, a lady is leaning out the window shouting to the firemen below. FIREMAN: Come on, lady, jump. We have the tarp here, we'll be able to catch you. LADY: No....I can't. My baby, my baby is up here. FIREMAN: Throw the baby down, we'll catch him. LADY: No, you'll miss. I can't leave my baby. Jerry sees this and steps forward. "Hey, I think I can help. Let me have the bullhorn." JERRY: Hey lady, I'm Jerry Rice, the wide receiver for the San Francisco 49er's. I'm the best wide receiver in the game, throw your baby down and I'll catch him, this is what I do for a living. Being a 49er fan herself, the lady recognizes Jerry and throws her baby down to him. Just as she throws it though, a huge gust of wind comes and takes the baby and starts to blow him off course. Jerry sees this and takes off after the baby. He hurdles the line closing off the area, fights through the crowd, dodges a couple of fire fighters, jumps over the car, and dives forward, just making a fingertip catch of the baby. The crowd around him goes wild and starts cheering his amazing catch. So Jerry jumps to his feet, raises his finger into the air, does a two step and then spikes the baby. If you have any dead baby jokes that are not here, I want to hear from you. Email me your dead baby jokes at skitzopathik@hotmail.com and I'll add them to this page.

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Please don't rape me.

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What do you do when a girl you gave roofies to wakes up? Take your tongue out of her ass and run!

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What is Jason? Black.

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What's better than finding a worm in your apple? -The Holocaust

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Why was the man running from the cops? His car broke down.

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What happens if you're in the middle of counting towels? You finish counting your towels.

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What's the difference between a woman and a cat? Numerous things

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Why didn't Dave buy his wife a watch for her birthday? Because she already had one.

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Why couldn't Helen Keller read? She was blind

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The outside of my house is painted yellow.

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How did two Jews react when they saw a quarter on the sidewalk? They agreed to donate it to charity.

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What did the chicken do before it crossed the road? Looked both ways and then crossed with caution while looking out for oncoming vehicles.

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How do you keep black people out of your back yard? Just like you would anyone else: buy a dog.

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Knock knock? Whose there? Who's. Who's who? No you used the wrong form of who's.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? It's everybody in the world telling you to stop re-using this joke.

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What color is my lamp? Brown

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why did Suzy drop her ice cream? doesn't matter, why is she out of the kitchen.

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What's a rabbit's favourite food? No-one knows, like humans, every rabbit has it's own favourite food.

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why did abby get fired? cause she showed allie anti joke.com!!! :0

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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