What did the mute guy say to the deaf guy? *awkward silence* What did the deaf guy say to the mute guy? *Awkward silence....huh?*

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A baby seal walks into a club...

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Why don't women wear watches? In the technologically advanced age that we live in, the watch is rapidly being replaced with other electronic devices that tell time, such as cell phones or iPods.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He was running. From the forest. That hell hole. He had got away, but he could remember. The darkness. The silence. Until the unmistakable scream of the guns and then- The Running. The Screaming. The Blood, oh the blood. Seeing Charlie. Oh, that damned soul Charlie. The bullet went right- But that was long ago. So long. But sometimes, in the silence, Chicken remembers. The Running. The Screaming. The Blood. And he screams.

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What smells like curry and bombs? A dead Indian

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Why did the black man sit at the back of the bus? Because all of the seats were taken by other people of different races. Luckily for the man, there was one empty seat at the back which he was able to sit on to make himself comfortable.

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Robin, get in the car.

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Duncan Traywick is hilarious.

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A baby seal walks into a club.

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Why did the hooker go to the bathroom? Because she just exchanged sex for money and was cleaning herself up for her next trick.

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whats the difference between santa claus and jewish people santa claus goes down the chimney and jewish people go up

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What do you call a mexican sleeping in a car tired.

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What's the opposite of fly? To not fly

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Why did an abusive childhood affect the little boy's behavior? Beats me.

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Dead babies.

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Q: Why can't Helen Keller drive? A:Because she is a woman A: She is blind deaf and dumb A: No seriously because she is dead.

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anus soup

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Your mother gets so hungry, she eats.

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What does a girl with no arms on a swing? Falls.

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Are you well? No, I'm not a well, I'm a person.

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Q: Why did the girl fall of her swing? A: She was hit by a rogue fridge. Q: Why didn't she get back up? A: She was quite badly injured.

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what do a plum and a rabbit have in common? there both purple except for the rabbit

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What was the woman doing in the kitchen? Investigating a murder..

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What is the difference between Terri Schaivo and a basket of rotting vegetables? The rotting vegetables aren't edible.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops