Can we still mine for gold in the American River? No, anyone seen mining for gold is considered a hobo and all the gold is cleared out by random people in the 17 century

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What do you call a black person who flies a plane? A pilot.. You racist bastard.

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What floats in the toilet and looks like a log? A log.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the stock market crashed 600 points today, and his retirement account took a hit. He can't afford his car anymore.

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How do you kill a blue elephant? Shoot it with a blue elephant gun. How do you kill a pink elephant? Hold it's nose until it turns blue, then shoot it with a blue elephant gun.

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How many dead babies can you fit inside Casey Anthony's trunk? Trick question. She didn't do it.

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Why did the pig cross the ocean? So he could be eaten by Americans.

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A white man/women works behing the counter at a 7/11

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Why did the boy fall off his bike? Because someone threw a canoe at him.

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Why did the girl break her leg? Because I pushed down the staircase.

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You know what's funny? Rape

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LO LLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOPLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOLLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOO O O O O O O OLO LOL OL O LO LO LO L OL

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What did the cat say to the dog? Miaow. What did the dog say to the cat? Miaow.

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Knock, Knock Wh- SWAT TEAM GET ON THE F****** GROUND!!!!!!!

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why did the cookie go to the doctor? he had to get a physical to be eligible to try out for his school's football team. his mom drove him there but was very careful not to get his hopes up too high since his chances of actually making the team were slim to none based on the fact that he had no arms or legs but only succulent chocolate chips in every bite.

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Knock Knock!! . . (There is no response as nobody's home)

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What do you call an Asian who can't drive? Underage, and therefore has not required his license to do so.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have a gun Watch me shoot you

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There once was a man from Nantucket, he was a very nice person and had many friends.

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Knock knock Who's there? Nobody Oh, ok

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What's invisible and smells like carrots? Rabbit farts.

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What did the dinosaur say to the human? For one, dinosaur's don't talk. And two, humans were not roaming the Earth during this time.

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Q:Whats the difference between Glenn Close and a black widow? A:one is a person, the other is a species of spider.

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Q: How many Jews can you fit in a 4-seater car? A: 4

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops