Why couldn't the girl call her boyfriend? Because she is homeless and can't afford to buy a phone.

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why did scooba steeve loose his flippers? because his head imploded after reaching an extremley high pressure point at the bottom of the ocean. unable to live, his memory was a bit less persistant.

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What do you call it when Justin Beiber has sex with a girl? Consensual sexual intercourse between two young adults.

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Why did the african kid die He was mauled by a tiger in a zoo

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What happens when you put a baby, a dog and a cat in the same bag They will all most likely suffocate if left in the bag too long

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If the Earth is square, why are trees smart? because you touch yourself at night

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knock knock come in !

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Magic! Well not really, you see, people that are stressed have the tendency to remain far longer into the state of hypnosis because their body conciously and subconciously (I am typoing it, but I cant bother to type it correctly fuck it) seek out the state of peace that hypnosis gives more often. Anyway, I know another thing that helps relieve stress, cough... Now, did you know that if you push your nose upwards slightly, you will feel a finger between your legs? its because nerve endings are connected that way, give it a go.

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Those that want what is best for me, shall listen to me and do only whatever I want. Those that want ONLY what is best for me, underestimate me greatly. You who stand in the way if my will, claiming you want what is best for me, better move aside.

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Q:What did the kid with no arms or legs get for christmas? A: A bike

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A guy walks into a bar with a Donkey and a jar full of pennies. He walks up to the bartender and orders ten shots of whiskey. He was found dead the next morning from erotic asphyxiation.

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why did the girl fall off the slide? she was pushed, by her dad...

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what bounces and is blue all over? a blue bouncy ball

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What did the girl say to the boy? You are a boy.

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How do you know when some one is a complete dick? When they hit the prestige buttom in Black Ops when your taking a dump. N.P.P.

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Hitler has a certain "genocide-quaw" about him

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Whats worst than getting bombed by the russians? The holocaust!

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Why don't black people ever defend themselves on anti jokes? Because black people are slaves.

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girl. have you seen my duck man. yes he is with me right now girl rely you have him man. yes in my diner girl. d.i.c.k. man.f u

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Theres a girl you like, and a you are playing football with friends. You see the girl about to get hit by the ball, but you catch it. She says "Your a life-saver" and hugs you "You scream touchdown!!!" to impress her, you spike the ball on the ground and it hits her in the face.

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A family has been forced out of their house by ghosts. Who are they gonna call?... Their insurance company.

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Q: what did the poor, blind, deaf, orphan girl get for Christmas? A: cancer.

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How do you get an elephant into a refrigerator? you open the door and guide him inside

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Roses are red, violets are blue, i suck a poetry now show me your tits!!!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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