What has two legs but can't walk A paraplegic

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why did the chicken cross the road? I never got to ask it got hit by a car.

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There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge said, "Herp derp dur" to which Fridge's mother replied "Shut up, Fridge."

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A cat walks into a bar, the bartender says "pussy?"

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Why did David Hasselhoff talk to his car? Because it was KIT from knight Rider and had voice recognition software and so could understand him

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Knock Knock: I have full blown AIDS

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Hello, can I order a cheeseburger?

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What happens when you get your leg caught in an elevator door? Nothing. It is likely that the elevator has advanced sensory components that won't allow the door to close on your leg.

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If you call a quiz a quizzicle, what do you call a test? A set of questions or problems used as a means of evaluating the abilities, aptitudes, skills, or performance of an individual or group.

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What has 2 wheels and looks like a bike? A bike.

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My mother-in-law fell down a wishing well, I was amazed, I never knew they worked

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Why was the asian boy abused? He got an B in math

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Wanna here a funny joke... Trevor michael dyess's social life.

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what long green and bumpy? a pickle

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Did you know? that if you were to stretch out all your organs to see how far theyd stretch? youd die.

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What doesn't kill you makes you stronger. Unless this event results in you being a vegetable.

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*Knock Knock* Who's there? It's Jeff. Hi there Jeff, come in, the doors open.

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Obama One Big Ass Mistake America

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Did you hear about the man who went up into space without a space suit? He died.

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How did Mary fall off the swing? She got hit by a fridge.

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what food wouldn't you take on holiday with you? any its all inclusive

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What's worse than seeing 5 dead babies on the side of the road? Realizing slavery is banned after buying a perfectly good young black male for a reasonable price at your local walmart.

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A family has been forced out of their house by ghosts. Who are they gonna call?... Their insurance company.

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Roses are red, violets are blue; So give me head, or I queue you!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops