A man had two kids who he loved very much but would always come home in a bad mood. On a Friday after returning home, he tells his wife, "I hate my life," then proceeds to take his anger out on her. If you were expecting for this to be a joke, then you clearly have some messed up humor. Abuse in the household isn't to be taken lightly.

Nigel Farrage and the concept of UKIP.

Guy 1: Why did Captain Hook die? Guy 2: Because he wiped his anus with a hook? Guy 1: No, because everyone dies.

What did the cow say to the butcher? At least I'm not a Jew.

hi michael

Why did the chicken cross the road? Peer pressure

The number 69 is? Just a plain old number that has just as much meaning as 68 and 70.

When an anvil and a feather are dropped off a building the anvil will hit the ground first because it's heavy

When ducks fly in a V formation do you know why one side is longer than the other? Because there are more ducks on that side.

why are black people so fast? because there black

What happens when you cut down a tree? It falls over.

Knock Knock Opens door because they were expecting visitors

What did the senator do after he typed he email? He clicked the send button.

Ask me for £1000 Can I have £1000 No get a job

I FEEL LIKE I'M RIDING ON A CLOUD actually it's physically impossible to ride on clouds because they are sparsely situated ice particles.

Roses are red Violets are blue Sugar is sweet And this poem sucks

Ding Dong! Who's the - - - wait - - - I don't have a doorbell.

Jesus can can WALK on WATER, but Chuck Norris can SWIM in it.

What's the hardest part of the pizza to eat? The motorbike.

Q: What do you call a black man that's flying a plane? A: A pilot.

Did you hear about my new Muslim friend? Hes the bomb!

What do a software designer, a civil engineer, an airline pilot, and a long-distance swimmer's support team have in common? All of them use angles and trigonometric ratios to help solve problems.

Why can't dinosaurs talk? Because they're all dead

why does the world spin? Chuck Norris says so

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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