Simon: Knock Knock Alfredo: Who's there? Simon: Wire Alfredo: Wire Who SImon? Simon: Wire are you asking me this!!!!

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A man walks into a bar with an octopus. He tells the bartender that his octopus can play any instrument. The bartender gives the octopus bag pipes. The octopus fiddles with the bag pipes but can't seem to play them. The man gives the bag pipes back to the bartender and leaves with his octopus. He is quite embarassed and decided to get bagpipe lessons for his octopus.

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What happened when the man got into the taxi? The driver shot him 17 times in the chest and ran away

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. The Clouds are white. Thank God I am too.

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Two members of the KKK walk into the bar into a bar. The bartender asks, "what do you think of Obama?" One of the KKK members says "he is my President, I respect him."

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what did the slave say to the slave owner i like your car

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How do you kill a mime? Shoot him in the face.

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What's the new green? Green

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have alzheimer's Cheese and toast

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Why does Rupert The Bear wear checkered trousers? Because he's a twat.

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A White man, a Black man, and an Asian man go to Heaven. They were in a plane crash.

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I am dyslexic

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There are two cows standing in a wide, green field eating hay. The first cow says: "Moo". The second cows says: "Thats funny, I was about to say that."

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Roses are red,Violets are blue, Who the hell are you,Get the hell away

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why did the black man apply for a job at kfc? His family was in debt after the loss of his father.

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Did you know Helen Keller had a swingset? Neither did she.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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why can't dead peaple have sex? because they're dead.

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How to trick hundreds or religious people to drink cyanide? You establish a religious community in which you establish a ritual of drinking Kool-Aid once a day and one day switch the Kool-Aid with cyanide.

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What's funnier than a dead baby? A joke.

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Your momma's so fat: She fears a lower life expectancy and consequently not seeing her grandchildren grow up.

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Why did the boy's house get destroyed? It was bombed.

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What happened when Mark's hair died? He got depressed that he was growing old and the signs of it were showing.

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why was allison crying? because her mom's dead.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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