Your a christain on a lovely vacation with your family a querr waalks by. What do you do? you push the queer of the edge.

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Three men are stranded, mid-ocean, in a small rowboat. They realize quickly that their imminent demise is slowly creeping into the forefront of their consciousnesses. Just as all hope seem to be lost, one man noticed an island covered in luscious foliage about five hundred yards away. A problem reared it's head as it became apparent that an unrelenting riptide was dragging the boat further and further from the shore and, in turn, salvation. It became further apparent that the men would have to abandon their rickety rowboat and swim the rest of the way. The first man bravely jumps into the vast uncertainty of the ocean and attempts to swim to shore. He is met by a large shark that promptly severs his arm from his body. A bloody mess, he manages to touch down on the sandy beach. The second man, more reluctantly, also jumps in. He balanced his chances: "100% death in the boat vs. uncertainty in the ocean." Like the first man, the second man meets the shark's vicious bite. His leg is severed and he too drags himself, bloody, to the warm embrace of sand and freedom. The third man, sure that he would be bitten also, jumps into the ocean and swims to shore. Alas! The third man arrived on the island unscathed and completely fine. Perplexed, the first two men asked the third why the shark did not attack him. The third man simply smiled and replied..."what do you expect me for, a typewriter?"

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What do a black man and a bench have in common? The black man can sit in the bench.

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two penguins are hanging out in Antartica. the one looks to the other an says "man its really cold out" the other quicky waddles away because of the strange alien sound its friend just made

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How many blondes does it take to change a lightbulb? One.

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Did you hear about the one about the man who walked into the library? He likes reading

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Comedian: Do you all wanna hear a joke? Audience: Yeah!!! Comedian: Okay! What did the bad comedian say to the audience? Audience: What?!! Comedian: Chicken butt. Thank you, you've been a great crowd. Good night!

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How do you get a black man out of a tree? Politely say "Hey you, get out of the tree."

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Chuck Norris tried to return some jeans to Target and when they didn't give him his money he kickeed them in the face.

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rose's are red violets are blue I have touretts blblblblblblblblbbl

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Whats brown and sticky? A stick.

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How many people does it take to screw a light bulb? One, it's all the sex they can get.

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Why did the black man buy a gun? because he wanted to go hunting.

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Roses are Black Violets are black I am colorblind, are you to?

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What's the coolest place to be in the solar system? Uranus.

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A man shaves at least 3 times a week, yet he has the longest beard in town, how is that possible? He shaves his head because he's embarrassed about his rampant and patchy balding.

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You- I came up with a new word! Friend- What is it? You- Plagiarism.

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What day comes after Friday? Saturday, and Sunday comes afterwards.

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Why did the boy fall off his bike? He was shot in the head. Plus the fact that it was his first attempt on a bike made it highly unlikely to succeed anyway.

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ROSES ARE RED VIOLETS ARE BLUE I LIKE TITS TITS

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Lil Wayne's song 6 foot 7 foot was named after my wewe

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Why did the racist guy die? Because the black guy stabbed him with a fork.

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Argon walks into a bar. The bartender yells, "Get the hell out!" Argon doesn't react.

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I'm a lion hear my threat **** you ***** and then go **** yourself. if your scared and you know it and you really want to show it crap your pants.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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