Why don't bats have penises? They do. I tried. Menstruation.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a bmw? I don't have a bmw in my garage.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Knock knock. Who's there? You're a faggot.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What's white, black, red, and flies? An airplane pilot with a battleaxe driven into his head

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why did a black kid kill his teacher? No reason. That what they do

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why is Helen Keller a bad driver? Her inability to see or hear makes her an extremely dangerous road hazard.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What did the dinosaur say to the other dinosaur? I don't know, dinosaurs have been extinct for 200 million years.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What's got two legs and bleeds a lot? Half a dog.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What's the difference between a girlfriend and a wife? 45 pounds. My girlfriend was a fatass. Wasn't gonna make that mistake again when I found a woman to marry.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What did the wall say to the floor? Nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Whats black, blue, and red all over? A man who has just been severally beaten.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

whats fat, green and hairy? Nothing I would pleasure myself to.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

your mommas so fat she should be worried about getting diabetes

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What's better then one dead baby in a tub? Many things a dead baby is a tragedy.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

A bloke runs into the bank, says to the girl "Stick 'em up!" She says "Righty-o, matey" and sellotapes his bollocks to the ceiling.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Real Joke: The US Air Force operates Seymour Johnson Air Force Base. It is named for a seaman. Go look it up.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Roses are red. Violets are red. Daisies are red. WHY IS MY GARDEN ON FIRE?

thumb_up thumb_down -10

I man walks into a bar. He drinks four beers, gives the bartender his keys, and takes a cab home. The next day he gets his best friend to drop him off at the bar, picks up his car, and is three minutes early to work.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why couldn't the dwarf mother reach for the top shelf? Her height was at a mini-mum.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Want to hear a joke? 12 year olds

thumb_up thumb_down -10

8

thumb_up thumb_down -10

roses are red so is ur face dont look at me like im a crazy bitch

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What did the bird say to the other bird? Nothing because birds can't talk.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

A duct walks into a bar. The writer meant to write duck and then proceed to make a clever joke but instead a typo was made and a very unlikely occurence was writtern about considering air passages are not capable of walking and would most likely already be in the ceiling of the bar as too bring fresh air into the bar is important.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops