My lady, that is the backside of trust, I have decided to trust you, how am I supposed to feel about the fact that I believe to the point where I know that you mean everything you are saying? And that if you had any interest in backstabbing me, I would be risking my life, wife and friends. Do you not get trust? If you keep thinking like that, tomorrow you could be suspecting the mailman for being a spy, I can, and could tell you that I will cut ties with my employees, but then I would have you not only to believe me, but to support me financially, I do not need much, in fact, I need you to trust me, and if you do not trust me, what does it matter if I quit? You could accuse me for typing books that alter the mind (all books do), you could accuse me of having killed Nero and taken over... The point is, if you cannot trust me, then I cannot help you with what you ask, and if that is a requirement for our friendship to persist, then you are not looking for a friend, but for a employee.

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Why couldn't the chicken cross the road? it has no legs.

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If Chuck Norris and Bruce Lee got in a fight, who would win? Chuck Norris, since Bruce Lee is dead.

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How many skilled union workers does it take to change a light bulb? One.

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what's the difference between a lion and an ostrich? they are both birds, a part from the lion

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What do you call a dog with no legs? Disabled.

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How did Harry potter open the door? He had the key

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Knock knock Whos there You spelt who's incorrectly You spelt whos incorrectly who ...................

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You know what helps with back pain? If you lick my butt hole.

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whats worse than a wussy times two a wusst times three i like boobs u basterds suck a dick

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Why couldn't Johnny drive? Because he had no arms or legs. Why didn't he have any arms or legs? Because Johnny was a potato.

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Why did the lemon eat salt? I DON'T KNOW!!

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The man walked into the church and stayed there.

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what is long on joe? Not his dick thats for sure.

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What do you call a dick with blonde hair? Joffrey Baratheon.

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What is black, white, and red all over? something that just so happens to be seen by the color blind.

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why did no one like Ashley? because she was a bitch!

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Whats worse than finding a worm in an apple? Getting shot in the gut What's worse than that? Getting raped in the hole made by the bullet

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what did the banana say to the orange? nothing because a banana is a fruit

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I just found my mum has Alzheimer's, I hope it isn't contagious cause my mum has it too

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roses are red violets are blue

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Two muffins in an oven. One muffin turns to the other and says nothing, because muffins cannot talk.

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A Black guy and a Mexican guy walk into the bar. The bar tender offers to buy them a round of drinks because he can tell they had a hard day at the office.

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Why did the black man leave the bar? Someone shot his girlfriend.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops