A boy walks into his friend's house for a party. While he waits for his friends to return from the bar he realizes there are many people waiting in different lines for various kinds of drinks. After his friends return he decides he does not want any of the carbonated drinks they had ordered, instead he chooses to wait in the fruit punch line. There is no punch line.

What is long, hard and comes out of a gay persons bum? poo

Jimmy comes home from school one day and goes to his mother. "Mommy, guess what?" "What?" "I had sex with my teacher today!" Naturally after hearing such news the mother gets appalled and tells her husband. "Well, that's my boy" he says "Now that your a man Jimmy we're going to go out and get some drinks tonight be ready in a half an hour." So they arrive at the local bar "Wait here son, you can sit down and save us a table and I'll go get the drinks ok?" "No dad I think I'll stand" "..why? What's the matter son?" "My butt hurts"

A guy walks into a grocery store. He asks a lady where the potatoes are. She says on isle 5 He goes to isle 5, but there are no potatoes.

there are three girls one said daddy why is my name rose because a rose fell on her head when yur a baby. daddy why is my name feather because a feather fell on your head when your a baby mumamhama, SHUT UP CINDER BLOCK!

I had a lemon. hi.

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Well it all started when 7 did something horrible to 8 and 9. Always being used for various things and never getting credit, 7 finally snapped one day at the office. He went home for lunch, which was uncharacteristic for him. He came back with a large duffle bag and a trench coat on. He walked into the the middle of the office and opened the bag and trench coat. The events that followed are now known as the office slaughtering of 1992. 7 ended up gutting 8 alive and eating its intestines. 9 was forced to watch then inch by inch was cut up. His heart was ripped out and shown to him before he died. The body was then thrown into acid, and 7 hung himself with piano wire, but lived. 7 also has herpes and 6 doesnt want anything to do with that shit.

What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in the middle of the ocean? A tragic drowning victim. And later, food for sharks, probably.

What is the difference between a woman and a whale? One has big whiskers and is fat and filthy, the other one lives in the sea and is a mammal

What do a baby and popcorn have in common? They both pop in an explosive manner when put in a microwave and both can be consumed by the person who may have put the baby and popcorn in it so if you think this is funny then you have some problems and i will shortly in some period of time when my schedule is cleared refer you to a licensed psychologist and we will make an appointment for you.

What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot

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A man walks into a bar. He's just entered into the Twilight Zone.

Why did the fish but the house Because it wanted to eat the house

Why did Helen Keller's dog run away? Because her mother inadvertently left the gate open while gardening.

Q. Why did little suzy fall off her swing? A. She dosen`t have any arms. Knock knock. Whos there? Not Suzy.

What would Loiter Squad be if the characters were white? A show.

How do you get a cow off a swing? Hit it with an axe.

When would you find a Mexican, Asian, Black and white guy hanging out? Never

"bus driver pressed the horn at my mum and she stuck a finger up at him " Not the first time she's got the horn and shoved a finger up

Yo mama so thin, she finally fit into the small - sized dress. She treats this as a great victory, and I am very happy for her.

Why was the boy sad he ate a loaf of bread? Because ducks ate him alive after that.

Can a rabbit jump higher than a tree? No. Trees don't jump

What did the kid with cancer get for christmas. Nothing. He was Jewish.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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