Why was the little girl lying on the floor? Because she had no arms or legs.

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Why did the duck cross the road? Because he was tired of the publicity his friend, the chicken was getting for crossing the road that he wanted to do it himself. Halfway across the duck was wistfully hit by a car and sadly, his story is lesser known and 99% of the people in this world really don't care about him. Thumbs up if you're that 1% that shows sympathy toward the duck.

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Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps, "My friend is dead! What can I do?" The operator says "Calm down. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." Then there is silence and a gun shot is heard. Back on the phone the guy says "I shot in the air and my friend heard it and moved. I think he's still alive." The operator says "Good that means he's still breathing and he's not dead."

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last night i was doing some guy in the ass. i went to give him a reach around and the homo had a boner! freakin queer.

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What do you do when a bomb is exploding 2 inches away from you? You die.

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I got a boner from the waitress touching my shoulder, please dislike this

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Why did the retarded guy follow the 7 year old? Because he's a stalker.

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Why did the girl fall out of the swing? She didnt have any arms

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? No. Neither has he.

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What did the jew do to his waiter? He explained how he had provided excellent service and left a very generous tip to applaud his efforts.

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Why was the Indian at the casino? He had a gambling addiction.

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What's the best way to anger a Muslim? Key his car in front of him.

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A Bull walks into a bar. it killed three people by the fact it was a Bull

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Did you hear about the dyslexic atheist? He didn't believe in santa.

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Whats worse biting into an apple and finding a worm? -bidoof

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Hey Lady Gaga, Madonna called, she wants her clothes back; she lend them to you weeks ago for a concert because you didn't have anything to wear and you haven't returned them yet.

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Your momma so poor, she has a hard time paying her bills.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? (knocker runs for life).

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What did the fat kid get for Christmas? Diabetes......

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what did Dr. Dre say? Nothing you idiots! Dr. Dre's dead!

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Why did the boy collect poop? Because it was it was his dogs shit.

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What do you call a blonde doctor? Doctor

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What do you call somebody with no arms or legs and they are stranded in the middle of the ocean? Answer: screwed

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what do you call a black guy falling down a hill? A hiker with an inconveniance you racist son of a bitch

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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