Last christmas, I gave you my heart, and the very next day, you're body rejected the transplant and you died.

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A dog got into a gingerbread house. She ate some and brought some to the basement it got on the couch!

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Why was the Magic: The Gathering player a virgin? Because he was underage and it would have been immoral for him to have had sex.

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What has 3 eyes, green fur and blue ears? Nothing.

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Why did the beautiful girl get the job over the not so beautiful looking girl She was more qualified

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I have an erection My mom!

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chuck norris does not know how to use a plunger.

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why was 6 afraid of 7? because he raped her

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What's the richest fish in the sea? The one you threw a quarter at.

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Yo mamas so fat when she was standing on a scale a girl walked by and said hey thats my phone number! Yo mamas so fat she broke the family tree!

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Roses are crimson. Violets are purple. I don't understand why this poem is so popular.

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do you know whats worse than a bad joke on antijoke.com the holocaust.

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Why did the boy fall off the swing? He had no arms.

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What do you get when you mix Obama and Chief Keef? OBLLAMA

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How do you starve a black man? Take away his current food stocks, and means of income.

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How many plumbers does it take to unscrew a lightbulb? Plumbers don't do that. Electricians do.

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Why'd Sally fall of the swing? Sally's a fish.

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Why are plants green? Plants are green due to the chloroplast organelles found in their cells. These membrane bound organelles are exclusive to plant cells and are used to convert sun light to usable chemical energy. This energy is stored in the form of ATP molecules, or adenosine triphosphate. When one of the three phosphate groups of an ATP molecule is removed, the molecule releases the energy put into this bond and becomes ADP, or adenosine diphosphate. Throughout this process, the organelle fulfills its sole function and at the same time gives plants their green color our eyes perceive today.

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What do you say to somebody that wont shut up Shut up!!!!

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1-1 was a race horse, 1-2 was one too, 1-1 won one once and 1-2 won one too

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Why was the kid running around? He was on fire

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What is similar about a white person and a white fence? Mexicans jump them.

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What's red and can't find a family? A fire hydrant

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Roses are red, Violets are red, Trees are red, FUCK, MY GARDEN IS ON FIRE!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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