I love you Itachi Uchiha, please let me lick ice cream off of your body and oh crap you're an anime character and not real never mind

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What do you call a zebra with no stripes? A zebra with no stripes

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Q: What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in the mountains? A: Bear food.

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Why was the little girl lying on the floor? Because she had no arms or legs.

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Drunk, a tweeker and a pot head are walking together when they come upon a huge wall with a large, locked gate in the middle of it. The drunk shouts "lesh shmash it down!" then passes out. The tweeker says "Dude, we should totally take the lock apart and see if there's some kind of mechanism in there holding it together that we can use to build some sort of machine for taking... oh man I gotta crap so bad! Either of you guys gota smoke?" and the pot head says "We should sit here and wait." I didn't say it was a good story

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Did you hear about the Dislexic Devil worshipers? They sold their soul to Santa.

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A man walks into a bar He is now in the emergency room suffering from deep lacerations to the forehead as well as a bloody nose.

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What do you get when you cross a dog with a cat? Nothing, it is impossible to mix 2 different animals

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How can you tell if an elephant has been in your fridge? Broken fridge.

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I have a horse.

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What's the difference between a jew and pizza? A Jew is human and pizza is food.

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How many blondes does it take to change a light bulb? One. Though if the ladder is rickety and she needs someone to steady it for her, two.

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What did the lactose intolerant boy say when he accidentally drank some milk? Nothing, he went into anaphylactic shock and couldn't breathe.

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Knock Knock. Who's There? Orange. Orange Who? No, this is Homeland Security. We have raised the current terrorism threat level to Orange, which means there is a high risk of terrorist attacks. Please report any suspicious behavior.

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What's black and white and red all over? My dog after she was hit by a car (true story)

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What is brown and sticky? A Stick

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Why is the sky blue? Because it isn't red.

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why did your mom leave your dad because he was a drunk :l

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How do you get your dog to stop peeing on the floor? SHOOT IT!!!

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Man 1: Did you hear that one about that girl who killed herself? Man 2: No Man 3: Yeah, neither did I

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What's worse than finding a work in your apple? The Holocaust.

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What's worst than finding two worms in your apple? Two holocausts.

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If you took all of the garbage produced in New York City in just one week, and put it in the middle of Central Park, the stench would be unbelievable.

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What do you call a man with no arms or legs? Unfortunate

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops