What mouse walks on two legs? Mickey Mouse. What bear walks on two legs? Winnie the Pooh. What duck walks on two legs? All of them, dumbass.

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So an irishmen, jewish, and asain walk into the bar...and the bartender said get out..

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A man was wacking it and then his internet went down he then cut off his own balls then his internet came back

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whats the difference between 10 Ferrari's and 10 dead babies ? i dont have 10 Ferrari's in my garage

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Okay.. So a dyslectic man walks into a bra...

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Montague goes to the alcoholics meeting and says "Hello I'm Montague and I am an alcoholic" Evreyone points at him and chants "LOSER!, LOSER!, LOSER!, LOSER!" Montague is appaled, he expected to be welcomed with sympathy and respect. Then he realises his mistake. He has walked into meeting with a bottle of whisky and is wearing a Justin Beiber T Shirt

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Why couldn't the kid get in to see the pirate movie? It was rated PG-13, and he was only 11. Plus, he had no money, and his mother didn't want him watching movies like that.

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Why was Helen Keller depressed? She was deaf and blind.

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knock knock who's there the police you're under arrest for the kidnapping, and murder of 12 girls you have the right to remain silent anything you say or do can and will be used against you in the court of law

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George Washington, a priest, a nazi and a jew are on a plane that's going to crash. There is only one parachute. George Washington says "For my country" and jumps off without a parachute. The priest says "For God" and jumps off without a parachute. The nazi says "For Hitler" and pushes the jew off and takes the parachute.

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What do you do to a woman who has a black eye? Punch her in the other eye so that they match.

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How many fish does it take to brush their teeth? Jp's worth of fish isn't enough.

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If you give a mouse a cookie... ...youre ruining its natural diet. it might die.

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What is a pedophile's favorite thing about twenty-six year olds? There are 20 of them.

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Whats blue and white and red all over? The American flag

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Knock knock. With the invention of doorbells, knocking has become almost obsolete.

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What did the Doctor say to the patient. You have AIDS The patient took out a machete and stabbed the Doctor. The Doctor died. Two weeks later, the patient died of AIDS.

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A man walked into his house He saw his wife having an affair with his teenage Gardner

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[] [] Those are eyes These are teeth

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So a baby seal walks into a club...

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Whats funnier then a dead baby? A lot of things.

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Why did the girl miss her date? She got killed.

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Tyrone is innocent! I can't wait until Kirsty gets hers!

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What's worse than an asian driver? A blindfolded asian driver.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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