Mom I am so sorry I molested you yesterday. Im not your mom! Phew, wanna go out?

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Modern math questions: If I have 9 apples and you have 12 ice cubes, his many pancakes fit on a roof? Purple, because aliens don't wear hats.

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Every week or so Chuck Norris does his laundry.

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why is andreas making a pizza? since he dosent get laid he likes the feeling of the sauce stinging on his dick

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Q: What did the boy with no arms or lags get for christmas? A: He dosent now he cant open them.

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Doctor: I regret to tell you that you have multi-personality disorder. Patient: Which one of us?

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What does a man want more than sex? Nothing.

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why did the black man jump higher than the white man he was on a trampoline

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A man is hungry so he gets on his coat and shouts : "I AM GOING TO THE STORE!". His wife says not to because the police say the rapist 'Eggman' is out again. He says he will be very careful. On his way he hears 'They are the Eggmen, I am the Eggmen-" and the man shouts: "AND I AM THE WAlRUS, SO GET THE HECK OUTTA MY FACE OR I WILL KOO-KOO KOO-JOOB YOU AND YOUR CHILDREN!" The Eggman and the man found two more people from Liverpool and formed the band 'The Beatles'. The Eggman shot the Walrus in 1980 after the band broke up.

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Asexuals aren't known for f***ing around.

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Q: How do you drown a black guy? A: Hold his head underwater and sit on his back.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To run away from the slaughter house.

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Why was young Timmy Crying? Unfortunately he had a very rare but serious heart condition and he would probably die within a week.

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Why did the woman cross the road? Trick question, she didn't because she was in the kitchen.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know you have to ask the chicken if you speak chicken

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Why was 6 afraid of 7 ? Cuz he was black.

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Why did we invade Afghanistan? Because we hate arabs.

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A train poops its pants.

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Q: What's worse than losing your job? A: Seeing your entire family die in a car accident

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Q: When do u know when your sister is on her period? A: Your dads dick tastes funny.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know. Me either. Well, later. Later.

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What is a name of a kid with down syndrome. Adam Hebeison

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How did the guy who's been in his mothers basement for 20 years lose his virginity? He didn't, that's where his mother hid his body.

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Roses are grey Violets are grey I'm a dog

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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