What did Britney Spears say when she got to Paris? "Oh my God, we're in France!"

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What is worse than finding a real joke on Anti-joke.com? Starving children in Africa.

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what does a deer and grass have in common? they are both green but i lied about the deer

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Why did the gir fall off of the swing? She had no arms.

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What one thing do the five members of Mystery Inc have in common? They were all raped and killed by REAL MONSTERS! One of the monsters happened to be Chuck Norris. He's a BEAST!

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why did the chicken cross the rode? so it can get the seed that is between the two yellow lines, and then he walked back without getting hit by a car.

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A man walks into a doctors office. The doctor says "I've got good news and bad news. Which do you want to hear first?" The man responds "I'd like to hear the good news." The doctor says "I ran a series of tests and found you have leukemia, but your insurance covered everything." The man hangs his head and tears up as he asks "What's the bad news?" The doctor heads for the door as he answers "Your company is switching to a private insurer and because of your pre-existing condition you're being denied coverage. None of your future treatments or appointments will be paid for." The man snaps his fingers and says "Damn! I should've voted Democrat!"

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What's the difference between a baby and a watermelon? One's fun to hit with a sledgehammer and the other is a watermelon.

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Why was the dog crying? Do dogs even cry?

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What's white and yellow with red all over? Vietnam War

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What did Helen Keller name her dog? She didn't, her father named the dog because he was aware of his daughters innability to speak.

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Why did Jonny commit suicide? Airplanes dont have feet.

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why does the gay guy like anal-sex? because he's gay.

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When life gives you lemons, squirt the juice in life's eyes. Then life won't trust you with lemons.

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a kid was born with down syndrome on christmas night

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What did Wonder Woman say to Superman? I'm wonder woman.

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When writing haikus Sometimes, I miscount the syllables See, that line has eight.

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Whats the difference between chris and a party. the locations

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A neutron walked into a bar and asked "how much for a drink?" The bartender did not reply because a neutron is so small he didn't notice that it even entered.

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What's the difference between 4 and 6? 2.

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Hats better than a stick? A stone

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What did goldilocks say to the three bears? she was savagely murdered before she could say anything.

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How do you get a blonde to tell time? By asking her what time is it.

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How many squirrels does it take to drive a refrigerator 10 quarts per elephant? Vanilla Cake

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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