Stephen Hawking walks into a bar.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Why was the man unable to get an erection? Because he was a woman

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side! That is a joke which very few people would find even mildly entertaining.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

How many dead babies can you fit in a trash can? 12- 18 (depending on size) I know this because i use to work at a abortion clinic

thumb_up thumb_down -23

What couldn't the stereotypical pirate get into the movie? Well, considering that the stereotypical pirate existed in the sixteenth to eightteenth centuries and the first motion picture wasn't made until the mid to late nineteenth century, also the technology for time travel does not exist nor has it ever, I would have to derive that he was not let in due to the fact that there was no way for him to ever exist at the same time that a movie would have been playing.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

You.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? He was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +80

What do you a a toilet with fecal matter in it? A toilet.

thumb_up thumb_down +68

What's brown and says "Hey, I'm a dog"? A talking dog, able to grasp the English language.

thumb_up thumb_down +56

Whats worse than the Halocaust? Your mom

thumb_up thumb_down +54

Why didn't Betty ride her bike to school? She had no legs.

thumb_up thumb_down +42

knock knock. I have a doorbell, you don't have to knock.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

You are such a loner nothing even clings to you, not even plastic wrap!!

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Reduce, reuse, recycle Anti-joke.com

thumb_up thumb_down +24

How do you fit 100 ethiopians in a phone box? With great difficulty.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Yo mama is so hairy she should probably start shaving.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

QUESTION: Why do black people do so poorly in school? ANSWER: Some statistics point to genetic disparities in intelligence between races, but others say it is due to more complicated social factors.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

A guy sitting at a bar was getting really impatient for his drink, so when the bartender asked if everything was fine, he yelled, "No, it's not! Where the f*** is my drink?!" The bartender replied, "I'm not sure what you're asking, 'cause I don't know what letters the asterisks are replacing."

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Two muffins are in an oven. One muffin says its getting hot in here the other muffin say holy shit a talking muffin.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What do you call a black man who flies a plane? A pilot.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What do u call a guy that loves the color blue? A smurf

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Goats are like mushrooms. If you shoot a duck, I'm afraid of toasters.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Yo mamma's so stupid, she dropped out of college.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

you know what they say... hydrate or die

thumb_up thumb_down

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops