Why could a fat man not do a barrel roll? He has already to many rolls.

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Chuck Norris was once approached by a woman for whom he had to fight a man to obtain all while doing a mundane activity in an unorthodox manner. He promptly declined for he is married and told the man he only fights for self-defense. He proceeded to put his pants on one leg at a time like everybody else.

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Lance Armstrong gets on a bike

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Q: Were did suzy go after the explosion? A: Everywere

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What did the blonde say when she saw a box of cheerios? "Lovely, I think I'll have some of these for breakfast today. The wholegrain will be good for me."

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Yo momma is so stupid, she has no job, five kids, and six weeks to live, due to the fact she spent all her money on cigarettes and now has lung cancer.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? His wife and children had just been struck by a moving vehicle traveling at approximately 45 miles per hour trying to cross the same road. He ran across the road to comfort his dying wife and two children as they took their final breaths. The chicken was also not really a chicken but a middle-aged man who had recently been laid off his job and diagnosed wiuth an incureable disease.

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Do you know what Stevie Wonder's house looks like? No. Well, neither does he.

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Q: When you have alot of hair, what are you? A: Obease

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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What's worse than a man with AIDS? The fact that this is considered a joke.

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there's a new drink out called the Bin Laden... it consists of two shots and a splash of water

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What do you call a dead man walking? Someone on death row.

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Rivals? Someone from the past? Erron, who is "WE"! Tell me now!

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How do you make a little girl cry twice? You rub your bloody penis on her teddy bear.

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A black man walks into a bar. "Whoops, that's not the Weed shop!"

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I hate it when people pour my cereal. They don't know how much I want. They don't know my life. They don't know what I've been through.

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why did the monkey fall out of the tree? cause it was dead...

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Zafarfanugen the third: Why did the chicken cross the road? Bob: Who cares about some dumb chicken crossing the road! I am more interested in why three generations of your family would continually use such a ridiculous name!

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the bible

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Whats long and hard and women like to suck on them? A popsicle or long lollipop

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What did the man do after his wife died? He farted.

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Whats gayer then dancing with the stars? Justin beiber

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What happens when you try to rescue a cat from a tree? It jumps on your face, falls down, and dies.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops