Why did little Susie fall off the cliff? I pushed her.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

what did the lamp say to the woman Nothing, a lamp is a plastic glass and metal inaminate object therfore it can not speak

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Knock knock. Who's there? It's the police, mam. We need to speak to you about your son Robert. It's the police, mam. We need to speak to you about your son Robert who? Mam, he was in an accident. Could you open the door please?

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What's sad about 3 black people going over a cliff in a Cadillac? Cadillac's seat 6

thumb_up thumb_down -5

here's my two cents worth! *hands you two pennies , entire life savings*

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What did Big Dog say to Little Dog? "We are both dogs."

thumb_up thumb_down -5

A man walks into a bar, and promptly leaves because he left his kid in the car.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

three people walked into a bar and there was a blackman,a jew,a white man and a nazi bartendor which ones did he shoot? The black and the jew and the white man

thumb_up thumb_down -5

what is the difference between peanut butter and a dead baby? dead babies dont stick to the roof of your mouth when you are eating them.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

If life gives you melons, you're probably dyslexic.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Want to hear an orphan joke? Knock Knock Who's there? Not your parents

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What's up? Well it all depends on your current position, if you are in the center of the Earth then everything would be up. In space there is no gravity so nothing is up. If you don't understand this the sky is up.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Rim Ram Ree, Kick him in the knee, Rim Ram Rass, Kick him in the other knee

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Heard about the dyslexic fellow who sold his soul to Santa? That worked out OK, but Christmas was hell.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Q. Why was the boy depressed? A. Because he lives in a world where apparently all girls are right.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it does whatever the hell it wants to do!

thumb_up thumb_down -5

A man used a ruler to measure his foot, it was size 11

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: He didn't he was chicken

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Roses are Red, Violets are Blue I've just bought a chainsaw, and I will now decapitate you.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why did the Elf stab the Gnome? Because I was on a bad acid trip.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

A girl and her family were walking by a cliff. Suddenly - due to a a part of the cliff falling away - her family fell over the edge and died. The girl ran to the bottom of the cliff and saw her family's body's strewn across the rocks, blood everywhere. She didn't have a phone on her and so could not call the police. She called over a man she saw in the distance. He asked "What's happened?". Just managing to stammer the words through her tears she said "My entire family fell off a cliff and died". The man unzipped his trousers and said "This really isn't your day is it love?"

thumb_up thumb_down -5

A duck walks into a bar. The duck walks over to the bartender and orders a beer. "put it on my bill." he says. The bartender angrily grabs the duck and kicks him out of the bar, because the duck has done this many times, but has never once paid his bill to the bar. The duck is an alcoholic and is slowly ruining his relationship with his family.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What's the difference between a guy who sees the glass half empty and a guy who sees the glass half full? The first guy is happier because his tables tip more than the second guy's.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

have you seen Stevie Wonders new house? No. Neither has he....

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops