A horse walks into a bar... The bartender says, "Why the long face?" The horse says, "I have testicular cancer........"

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Q: What did the mute kid say to his mother ?

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What did the passive-aggressive woman do to her husband? She killed him. As it turns out, the slight passive-aggressive behavior she was showing was actually an early warning sign of a dangerous sociopathic mental disorder. The authorities are looking for her as we speak and will soon have her institutionalized.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What is long, hard and comes out of a gay persons bum? poo

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Someone told me once, but i had terrible memory so I had them tell me again.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

I took a vampire out for dinner last night. I expected her to cringe when I ordered a rare steak, but we decided not to let my tastes impact on the evening, sharing wine and many stories before heading back to my apartment.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Whats worse then biting into an apple and finding a worm? Biting into an apple and finding half a worm. Wats worse then biting into an apple and finding half a worm? Biting into an eggplant and finding half a worm, as eggplants are usually more expensive so you will have wasted more money and would probably not be willing to eat the rest. And eggplants taste like shit.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Are you trolling with me? I mean how can you know where I live if you have not even picked up the phone yet? Listen, if you wanted to make me upset, you did it okay? You won, I like you a lot and I would never do such a thing. I understand you being upset Nero, I am so sorry, I never meant nor wanted for this to happen, I hope you can forgive me someday.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Whats funnier than throwing a baby off the top of a building? The sound it makes when it hits the ground.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What does the gay man do while he is taking a shower with many other men in a prison or a gym? Lathers soap all over his body to clean himself so he is not smelly.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What's worse than dropping a dollar down the drain? Getting constantly tortured for hours non-stop by getting your eyebrows plucked out one by one and getting your teeth pulled out and getting your arms cut open by a razor and getting your nose twisted off and getting your nipples ripped off by a pair of pliers and getting your toenails scraped off by a knife and getting a needle shoved into your eyes and getting a sword stuffed up your arse and getting your penis split in two like a hotdog and getting your balls smashed up by a sledgehammer so the sperm inside goes everywhere. I think that would be worse than dropping a dollar down the drain.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What do you call a black man in a hole? "sir". He is A colnel in the US marines fighting for his country in a pivotal battle to maintain american interests in other countries.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Why do black guys always have sex on their mind? Because they are men.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Roses are brown, violets are brown, someone keeps shitting in my garden

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Yo mama's like Darfur: Everyone feels bad for her, but nobody offers any substantial assistance.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What green and eats rocks? Grass, i lied about the rocks

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Why did the midget fall from a tall building? Because somebody pushed him.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

When life gives you lemon, Squeeze lemon juice in life's eyes Rape it And demand oranges

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Your momma is so dumb that her IQ is 3 standard deviations below that of an average person.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Jax vs Pig Jax: HOHAHOHOHAHOHAHOHA... Etc Pig *spinning head like neck is gonna break off* Shao Kahn: FINISH HIM! Jax: GOT YA! OH YEAH... BEASTIALI*Y, BEAST*ALITY? AGAIN?

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What do you can a preschool on fire? A very dangerouse situation

thumb_up thumb_down -3

what's the difference between a blonde and a brunette? they have different colored hair

thumb_up thumb_down -3

why did suzie fall off the swing? because she had no arms.. knock, knock who's there? not suzie

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Why did the girl fall off the swing? She had no arms.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops