a man walks in to a bar he says "what can i get for a free beer" the bartender says "okay but first you have to make my donkey laugh" so he goes in there and makes it laugh and gets a free beer ant then the next day he goes in and says "what can i get for a free beer" the bartender says "okay but first you have to make my donkey cry" so he goes in there and makes the horse cry and the bartender says " i will give you a free beer but first tell me what you did to make my donkey laugh and cry" the man says " first to make the donkey laugh i told the donkey i had a bigger penis than him then to make him cry i showed him

thumb_up thumb_down +6

alex is cool

thumb_up thumb_down +6

how many licks does it take to get to the tootsie roll center of a tootsie pop? Not enough

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What do the world and jelly beans have in common? Nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What sits in the corner of room and gets smaller and smaller? A baby combing it's hair with a potato peeler

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why did the chicken cross the road? Yes

thumb_up thumb_down +6

One day, a mother was talking with her three daughters. "Mommy," the first one asked, "Why did you name me Daisy?" "Because when we took you home, a daisy petal fell on your head." "Mommy," the second one said, "Why did you name me Rose?" "Because when we took you home, a rose petal fell on your head." "MMMMBBBWWAAAAAAAAAGGGGGHHHHH!" the third daughter cried. She was born with severe cognitive damage and is incapable of coherent speech.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Whats funnier than a massacre? Everything.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Roses are red, Violets are red, Tulips are red, Dandelions are red, I lit your garden on fire.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

How many babies can you fit in an oven? Depends how hungry you are.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

A pirate walks into a doctors office with ship's wheel attached to his crotch. Pirate: "Arrrrrr, do ya accept Kaiser Permanente?" Doctor: "Yes, but there's a $20 co-pay."

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Psychic wanted. You know where to apply.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Yo mama so stupid that when she missed the 44 bus, she took the 22 twice instead

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Holocaust jokes are not funny. And I don't see the humor behind them.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Q: What do you call a black man's car being egged? A: A Hate Crime

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What do an elephant and a can of soup have in common? Neither one can ride a bicycle.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Q) What did the farmer say who'd lost his tractor? A) Where's my tractor?

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What did the sheep say to the Commonwealth Committee on September 11 2001? Baabaaabaaaahhh

thumb_up thumb_down +6

I can't remember the punchline for this joke so I recommend you stop reading this...why are you still reading this whats wrong with you!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +6

roses are red violets are blue i'm allergic to pollen achoo

thumb_up thumb_down +6

whats black and doesnt like politics? a black chair

thumb_up thumb_down +6

You having friends.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What does it mean when your dog goes to the bathroom on your floor? He hasn't been very well potty trained By: robobob123

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why did the road cross the chicken? Well, according to Einstein's Theory of Special Relativity, if you and the chicken were to cross the road simultaneously, your perspective, relative to the chicken, would remain unchanged. Therefore, the road would appear to move underneath the chicken, which would seem to be performing some style of polka dance.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops