You know what's the least funniest part about cancer? I am about to die in about a month or so.

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Knock knock. Who's there? John. Oh, OK I'll be there in a sec. *opens door* Did you bring the blender and the baking tray? Oh no I forgot I'll run back and get them.

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Jack and Jill went up the hill to have some hanky panky , but silly Jill forgot her pill so now there's little Frankie...

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If you were a pie I'd eat you

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Q: which of the following is a prime number? A: 17

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what do you call someone who cant breathe? dead

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what do you call a blonde who can't drive? a poor driver

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Hey. I came up with an anti-joke. I posted it here.

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good morning. good day. good night. good to see you santa

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A man wakes up after a long night with a girl he recently met. He pulls out a cigarette, and looks for his lighter, but can not find it. He asks the girl if she has a lighter and she replies "There might be some matches in the top drawer of my dresser." He opens the top drawer and finds some matches.

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Q: How many licks does it take to the center of a tootsie pop? A: At least one.

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What did the horse say to the other horse? neh

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why dont you ever run over a black guy thats on a bike? because you will be sewed and also probably have the shit kicked out of you

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What did the white guy say to the two black guys? I like oreos.

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Why did the cook put rubber bands in the spaghetti Because he was an asshole

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You're so vein you are probably a tube that conveys blood from various parts of the body to the heart.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he was being chased by a wolf, who promptly ate the chicken when they arrived at the other side.

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Roses are red, but there are also pink, white and yellow varieties Violets aren't blue, they're violet, hence the name I've got OCD And my poetry skills are also lacking.

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You know what's gay? Grabbing another man's penis.

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What do you call 4 black men in a BMW? Successful Businessmen.

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Why was the boy walking in circles? One of his feet was nailed to the floor...

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What was wrong with the tomato? Nothing.

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Tool will release their 5th album this summer.

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A mother had three kids: 1st kid- “Mom, why did you name me Daisy?” Mom- “Because when you were a baby a daisy fell on your head.” 2nd kid- “Mommy, why did you name me Rose?” Mom- “Because when you were a baby a rose fell on your head.” 3rd kid- “Blahblahblahflismdjsk” *makes retarded noises* Mom- “SHUT UP BRICK!”

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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