Why Didnt John Return any of his calls he was in a very serious car accident fell into a coma and will probablly will not wake up ever again

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My mother always said that jumping in piles of leaves was fun. That was before she died of pancreatic cancer.

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a suicidal man walks up 49 floors and enters a room and opens the window. hes worked there for 5 years and the air condition is broken

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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Q:Why are babies and spaghetti alike? A:They both stick to the wall when cooked.

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What did the boy with no arms and legs get for christmas? Nothing he died.

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Knock knock, who's there? Doctor. Doctor who?

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Why did sally fall off the swing? She got her arms cut off. Why did Sally drop her ice cream? She got hit by a truck. Knock. Knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

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what do you call ten white people on a bench ten white people sitting on a bench, possibly eating their lunch

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Why did Jonathan choose to watch something else other than Geordie Shore? Jonathan is intellectual.

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if chuck norris had 5 dollars and you had 10 dollars you would have 5 dollars more than Chuck Norris

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Ten green bottles hanging on the wall, Ten green bottles hanging on the wall, And if one alcoholic should one day stroll along: There'll be no more bottles hanging on the wall.

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In retrospect, I was wrong to microwave all those cats.

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What's the best thing about the Pixies? Their music.

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Knock Knock, Who's There? Legolas They're taking the Hobbits to Isengard!

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what did the soccer player say when he missed a penalty? damnit.

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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Why doesnt your dad like barrack Obama? because your dad is straight, hes not into men

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How many dead kids can you fit into a plastic bag in your trunk? Ask Kasey Anthony

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Why isn't this joke funny? Because it has no point.

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: I personally really do not know

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What did the 80 year old man do to celebrate valentines day with his wife? Nothing, Alzheimer's made him forget about Valentines day.....and that he was married. What did his wife do for Valentines day? Killed herself.

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What do you call a fish without an eye? A fsh

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What did the Apple Tree say to the Oak Tree? Nothing.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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