tomorrows international kill and orphan day, how meany of the sad bastard's you plan on baking into dough?

thumb_up thumb_down +3

sir ya look like ron weasly hhahahahaha LEL

thumb_up thumb_down +3

The opposing forces behind all human beings is not light vs darkness, not good vs evil, but fear vs ' love. Whatever is overwhelmingly good for one person, is evil to many. Overwhelming darkness wont allow you to see. Overwhelming light will make you blind. You can never fear overwhelming love. You can never love overwhelming fear. These are the true polar opposites, part of all emotion that drive the human being.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

1st person: What is the difference between a jew and a pizza? 2nd person: I don't know 1st person: A Jew is a follower of the zionist faith and a pizza is a popular food invented in Italy and comes with your choice of several delicious toppings. 2nd person: But not all Jews follow zionism 1st person: Well some places restrict your choice of toppings. Whats your point?

thumb_up thumb_down +3

How many black people does it take to change a light bulb? None. While they were figuring out who to change the bulb the bulb lit a spark and the house caught fire. Everyone but one died. The black guy couldn't change the bulb because the bulb was lost in the fire.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

How do you kill Chuck Norris? Shoot him in the face.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

This is not a joke

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because if he stayed on the farm, he would have been condemned to a miserable life, subjected to deplorable living conditions and an eventual pain-filled death by the hand of a cruel and heartless farmer. Crossing that road was his only chance of salvation.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

(you will only get this if you play minecraft) whats green and looks like a penis? a creeper!

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Knock knock. Who's there? It's the government, your home is being repossessed.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why is it so bad that the bus fell off the cliff? All my friends were on it.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

A baby seal walks into a club.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

2 beavers enter a bar, destroy all the stool legs, and leave.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Once upon a time there was a cowboy. He died. The end.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

How many blonds douse it take to change a light bulb I dont know it hasn't happened yet

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Knock knock! who's there? Doctor Doctor who? No, this is your actual doctor, you have cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

how big is a black mans penis? idk ask his wife

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why do canadians have a lower violent crime rate than the U.S? Because they were all raped as children and are now afraid of getting raped again when bathing in prision.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why did they save the man in a burning building? To arrest him for arson.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Teacher: "Kenny, what is the biggest mammal on land?" Kenny: "A stranded whale."

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Q: What do you call a man with no arms and no legs? A: A quadriplegic.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Roses are red, Violets are blue, This is a poem about Red rosses and blue violets

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What's sad about 4 black people in a Cadillac over off a cliff? A Cadillac seats 5

thumb_up thumb_down +3

How do you get McFly into a Mini? McFly are a four member band and a mini has four seats so it's actually quite straightforward.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops