How do you keep an idiot in suspense?....

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What did Jesus say when he was nailed to the cross? AHHHH WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS!?!?!? MY HAND!!! MY HAND!!! AHHHHHHH!!!!! JUST KILL ME!!! PLEASE WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS?!?! MY OTHER HAND AHHHH!!! HAHAAAAAAAAAaaaa..... AHHHHHHH WHY?!?! MY LEG!!!! MY FOOT NO!!!!! PLEASE!!!!! Ah AH AHHHHH!

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how do u make a baby cry? you shouldnt. Stop thinking of ways to make a kid cry... asshole.

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Q. What do you call a black pilot? A. A pilot.

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Why would a woman be out of the kitchen? Because she is busy working, being outside, resting, or any other activity that does not include food.

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Two people were playing Monopoly. One was a blonde and one was black. The blonde said, "your turn".

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Q: What would Martin Luther King Jr. be if he was white? A: Alive

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Why did little Suzy fall of the Swing? Someone threw a fridge at her.

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What do you call a man who has reached the highest level of prestige in all Call of Duty games? A Virgin

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Gay jokes arn't funny. "Come" on guys.

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A man walks into a bar and poops his pants. He left because of the embarrassment.

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How do you cheer up a sad caterpillar? KILL IT WITH FIRE

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Why did the black man commit suicide? Because the white man murdered him.

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How did the man open the car? He opened in.

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why did the duck cross the road? because his d**k was stuck in the chickens a**....

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Knock Knock! Who's There? Mike Mike who? Mike who you just called and told to come over Oh ok, come in

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Knock Knock Who's There? Peyton Peyton who? Peyton Manning

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Why didn't Anne Frank ever leave the attic? She did.

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roses are red, violets are blue. Some poems don't make sense, Salad.

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Once upon a time, Ducks THE END

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Why did the man get frustrated searching through a box of forks? He was looking for a spoon.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? grape. Grape who? Purple grape.

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Why was Six afraid of Seven? Seven was in a horrible car accident recently and became very disfigured. He didn't tell Six, so the initial shock of seeing him for the first time was quite jarring for Six. Seven has had multiple surgeries since and, once the swelling recedes, he should look much better. It will still hurt for him to chew though.

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a gay man walks into a bar. he is promptly escorted out for trying to seduce men.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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