What did Jesus say when he was nailed to the cross? AHHHH WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS!?!?!? MY HAND!!! MY HAND!!! AHHHHHHH!!!!! JUST KILL ME!!! PLEASE WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS?!?! MY OTHER HAND AHHHH!!! HAHAAAAAAAAAaaaa..... AHHHHHHH WHY?!?! MY LEG!!!! MY FOOT NO!!!!! PLEASE!!!!! Ah AH AHHHHH!

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My Friend Philip had his lip removed today. he is just Phil now.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Johnny Johnny who? Johnny your son let me in mom! Son, I have something to tell you. What? Well, you're actually adopted *sobs*

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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Whats the difference between males and females? fe

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It was stapled to a deer

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What's funnier than a dead baby? A joke.

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Two black men walk into a Ku Klux Klan meeting. they are immediately lynched by the mob who hates them

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How do you keep an idiot in suspense?....

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Yo mamma's so fat that the gravity required to keep her on the ground is significantly smaller than an average sized human.

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What do you call a black woman in a pool? Drowning.

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You know what they say about fat thumbs? They give a lot of accidental comment likes on statuses.

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A mexican and a black person are in the back of a car. Whos driving? A bus driver.

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How do you get a black man down from a tree? If the man cannot climb down himself, perhaps call the fire department.

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What did the muslim get for christmas? Nothing.

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Nowadays, aviation is the most secure means of conveyance in the world, but paragliding is not.

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Q. What do you call a black pilot? A. A pilot.

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Why would a woman be out of the kitchen? Because she is busy working, being outside, resting, or any other activity that does not include food.

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Gay jokes arn't funny. "Come" on guys.

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Q: What would Martin Luther King Jr. be if he was white? A: Alive

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Two people were playing Monopoly. One was a blonde and one was black. The blonde said, "your turn".

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What do you call a man who has reached the highest level of prestige in all Call of Duty games? A Virgin

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A man walks into a bar and poops his pants. He left because of the embarrassment.

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how do u make a baby cry? you shouldnt. Stop thinking of ways to make a kid cry... asshole.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops