What did the fat man say when he was offered infinite french fries for life? Yes.

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What did the boy eat for dinner? Shit.

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I like my coffee like I like my women. Ground up and in the freezer

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david give me my money back... i will have it next week

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If I could rearrange the alphabet, I would put my dick in your ass

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Whats the difference between Sarah Palin and Jason Voorhees? Jason has a chainsaw.

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A dyslexic man walks into a bra. He removes the piece of lingerie from his face and continues shopping for clothes.

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roses are red pickles are green i like your legs and whats in between

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What did the black college graduate say to the Jewish high school dropout? Do you want me to also clean your fourth floor executive bathroom, Mr. Bernstein?

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there was a guy who had 2 horses... he entered them into races... they were rubbish... kept losing... so he entered them in 1 big race and said hed get rid of the loser... the horses made a plan to finish it at exactly same time... he heard them talking and said HOW DARE TALK

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There are 5 men in a desert a black man a white man a gay a lesbian and a white woman they have no food or water and haven't had any in 3 weeks civilization is 1 mile away how many people live and which ones They all die you can only live 3 days without water.

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A family walks into a talent agency. It's a father, mother, son, daughter and dog. The father says to the talent agent, "We have a really amazing act. You should represent us." The agent says, "Sorry, I don't represent family acts. They're a little too cute." The mother says, "Sir, if you just see our act, we know you would want to represent us." The agent says, "OK. OK. I'll take a look." The father begins by juggling some balls. The mother pulls out her harmonica and begins playing "Dixie". The children and dog try and get the dog to jump through a hoop. For the longest time, the agent just sits in silence. Finally, he manages, "That's a hell of an act. What do you call it?" And the father says, "The Aristocrats!"

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BOB:john John:what? BOB:4:59 seconds to get rid of it

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What do you get when you throw a piano down a mine shaft? A flat minor.

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Jesus, Mohammed, and Moses walk into a bar and sit down at a table. They glare at each other for a moment before turning to watch the baseball game. They support opposing teams.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? (knocker runs for life).

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John has 37 candy bars and eats 36 of them? What does John have? Diabetes, John has Diabetes.

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Knock Knock. You don't have a door.

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How did the black man get a car? He bought it.

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What do you call a penguin that hangs around in playgrounds? A paedophile.

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What did the car do? CRASH!

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Whats worse than getting raped by a giant scorpion? Getting raped by a giant elephant.

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How do people from Indian Hill laugh? Like an Indian, huh, huh, huh!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because I said so.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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