Five little monkeys jumping on the bed One fell off and bumped his head Mama called the doctor and the doctor said "There is no cure for the monkeys in your head"

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Hook. Hook who? Who are you Hooking Your Horns to?

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A man walks into a bar and orders a beer. His family is struggling financially and his children are severely malnourished. If he wasn't an alcoholic, he could afford healthcare for his family and move into a better neighborhood. But he's not, so they will die a long, painful death.

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Nero? You are alive? Holy shit! You are like so my hero! I love you man! I was so saddened to hear you where tortured and killed, but then I read about this "Axel Knight" and hoped it was you, it sure sounded like you! Please tell me its no joke, you are a hero around these parts, and we really miss you, honestly sir, is it true point zero has become some sort of utopia or are the painkillers making you a bit Hazy? I am Erica by the way, still with the order, but what is this about your empire?

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What do you call a black guy that steals a car? A father desperate to save his dying son who doesn't have a car to drive to a hospital

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What color do you get when you mix aquamarine with magenta? Transvestite.

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Why was the blonde staring at the bottle of orange juice? She was reading the nutrition facts, as she was trying to watch her weight.

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whats harder than nailing a dead baby to a tree? my dick wile i do it

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I used to be schizophrenic, but we're ok now.

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A Serbian Film

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How many immature teenagers does it take to change a light bulb? Ya mum.

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How did Clumsy Clearance eat shit? He was in the Human Centipede.

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What's brown and smells like shit? The rapidly decaying bodies of several dead chipmunks.

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- On the cliff edge are standing three people: an Asian, Jewish and black man. Who's going to fall first? - Who's going to care about this?

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i like my coffee like i like my women ... with big titis

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What did the boy with no arms and legs get for christmas? rockband

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Why did the frog cross the road? He was stapled to the chicken.

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What do Miley and Billy Ray Cyrus have in common? Half their DNA

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Why was the comedian so funny? Because that's his job, and if he wasn't funny he would have to become a hobo.

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Why do people laugh at the number 69? Honestly I don't know, its just a number isn't it?

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I <3 Hitler

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You mothers so ghetto, you died.

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A man is working at a bar. He feels a fly graze his left index finger, which has become a bit sweaty. The man rubs the finger for a moment, then continues to slice grapes for a customers synthetic japanese glue farm.

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Morgan Freeman walks into a bar. Everyone is pleasantly surprised that they are in the presence of a celebrity.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops