What is the difference between a pumpkin and a dead baby? There are thousands of differences between a dead human and the fruit of a pumpkin plant. One of them is that I didn't choke my wife to death with a pumpkin. Another is that pumpkins have a stem.

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There's 2 guys in a Y shaped road. One road leads to a cliff with deadly alligators below the river. The other road leads to the village. You can ask both of the guys one question to which leads to the village. However, one guy always tells the truth and the other guy always tells a lie. How do you get to the village? GPS

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What's the difference between a black guy and an asian. They come from different race groups.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to your house Knock knock Who's there? The chicken

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Q. How many babies does it take to paint a room? A. Depends on how hard you throw them.

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what is this joke about? - i don't know i am still writing the j

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What did one wall say to the other? Nothing. Walls can't talk.

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what falls from the sky, is white, and can kill you a refrigerator

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what do you call a kid with no arms and an eye patch names

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Keanu Reaves

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Why did Jonathan choose to watch something else other than Geordie Shore? Jonathan is intellectual.

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A baby seal walks into a club.

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What did one tampon say to another? Nothing they were both stuck up.

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Yo mamma is so fat that she is likely to consume large amounts of food regularly.

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What do you call an attractive woman in a blender? A very rare occurrence.

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Knock knock! who's there? Doctor Doctor who? No, this is your actual doctor, you have cancer.

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What's white and is your slave? Your computer.

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Why is it so bad that the bus fell off the cliff? All my friends were on it.

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I once did something.

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There is big difference between helping your Uncle Jack off a horse And helping your uncle jack off a horse

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hey i just met you, and this is crazy, i have alzheimers, hey i just met you

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roses are red violets are blue i use refrigerators to keep my food cool

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Q: What's better than the Call Me Maybe video? A: A shot-for-shot parody of it featuring a GIMP! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rFxnAITCv5o

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Knock knock. Who's there? It's the government, your home is being repossessed.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops