Once, a woman told her son to be a peach and fetch some sugar. Little did she know that a genie heard her. The next day, she was horrified to find her son gone and a peach in his bed.

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An Irishman, a Jew, an Asian, and a Priest all walk into a bar This is an example of a well-balanced community

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A chinchilla and an octopus walk into a bar. What do they say? The octopus says Hello but the chinchilla says nothing because chinchillas cannot talk.

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What's black and can't swim? A black shirt.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Pickles.

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Did you hear about the pirate movie? It was rated PG-13 for sexual content/nudity, language, and some violence.

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What do you call a boomerang that doesn't come back? Misthrown

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How many licks does it take to get to the Tootsie Roll center of a Tootsie Pop? As many as it takes.

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What do a pizza man and a gynecologist have in common? They are both hardworking members of the community!

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A panda , a cheetah, a dog, a spider, and an eagle are in Antarctica.. The eagle looks around at the other baffled animals and says " What is this????? This isn't right! I'm so confused!"

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What did the man say after falling off the bridge? Nothing. He died a painful and terrible death on impact.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know, as I wasn't there, and frankly I wonder why a chicken was anywhere near a road anyway

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A baby seal walks into a club.

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What do you get when you eat a bag of potatoes? The're all gone.

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Roses are red,Violets are blue, Who the hell are you,Get the hell away

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Black people are the scum of the earth

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A woman is walking down the street. A midget approaches her and with his keen sense of smell, informs the tall woman of her delicious scent and says, "Ma'am your hair smells lovely, may I please take a closer sniff?" Then woman obliges and the midget is arrested for alleged rape, or as he put it, trying to sniff her vagina.

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How is a hamster like a cigarette? They are harmless until you stick them in your mouth and light them on fire

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Robert Muldoon: "Clever girl..." Velociraptor: "I appreciate your compliment, but I will still eat your face."

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It would be unlikely for any entity of this time to speak English and communicate with chickens so it is improbable for one to know the answer.

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Why did the black man go to the store? To get milk and eggs because he was running out of those items

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What do you call a horse standing alone in an empty field? Tesco's own Beef Lasagne.

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Whats the difference between and ? Blue custard

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A family walks into a talent agency. It's a father, mother, son, daughter and dog. The father says to the talent agent, "We have a really amazing act. You should represent us." The agent says, "Sorry, I don't represent family acts. They're a little too cute." The mother says, "Sir, if you just see our act, we know you would want to represent us." The agent says, "OK. OK. I'll take a look." The family performs an array of disgusting sexual acts. For the longest time, the agent just sits in silence. Finally, he manages, "That's a hell of an act. What do you call it?" And the father says, "It has no name."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops